A Lifetime Worth of Moments
by chxrxx
Summary: Years after the original Titans have split, Starfire returns from her mission in space to Raven's new home and the two end up at an event with the new generation of Teen Titans. When Raven happens upon something sinister she's forced to reunite with her old teammates to stop this new evil before it's too late. But after everything can she even get them together under one roof?
1. Wine Rack

Wine Rack

It was already 9:30 when they reached the busy parking lot of Fanion station with the relentless ring of Koriand'r's phone a constant reminder of how late they were. They had left Raven's house around an hour ago, only stopping to get a drink from McDonald's to wash down Kori's taunting bottle of tequila. Despite Miguel's constant reminder that everyone arrived downtown hours ago, and Raven's impatient driving as she weaved through the uncharacteristically crowded streets, it was still a long drive from her house. As soon as they parked, Kori opened the door of Raven's SUV and started making her tequila cocktails that Raven knew would never be as good as they hoped. Getting out of the car herself, Raven made her way towards the parking ticket machine, watching two families say bye and get into their respective cars. The kids wore bright smiles as they ran around together, even though it was probably past their bedtimes, and the parents were trying to round their own kids seemingly ready to get home. The smallest one reminded her of Melvin, more collected than the rest, always one step ahead and never getting caught by whoever was 'it'. Kori thrusting a McDonald's cup in her hand abruptly disrupted her thoughts and pulled her towards the station as Raven quickly locked her car. The SUV's beep echoed as they made their way across the lot.

Kori hurried ahead down the stairs, her white sneakers a blur, while Raven quietly followed behind, her black heels clicking swiftly to keep up with the excited alien. Even getting there was a hassle, the GPS leading raven into a bus zone but finally after numerous U-turns and bickering they made it. Everyone at the station seemed to be going the opposite way, in a hurry to get to wherever they are needed without any unnecessary interactions. Yet, Kori hastily retreated to Raven's side, whispering worries of onlookers. Raven laughed despite herself. Koriand'r was a 6 foot 4 orange alien with breath-taking auburn hair cascading down her waist and piercing green eyes. Of course, she would catch the eyes of many, but that wasn't what she was really referring to that night. Koriand'r and Raven's attire made them stand out more than their usual civvies in the dull station but it still fell short for their downtown event. Raven readjusted Kori's snakeskin bodysuit, which was tucked into her white mini skirt as they reached the ticket counter.

"No one's looking Kori," Raven promised.

"Perhaps they will not be seeing you friend, but they are seeing me"

Raven wore a pink bodysuit with a pair of black slit jeans and although Kori left her coat in the car, Raven decided to keep her jean jacket on, favouring a warm night out over parading a Kori approved outfit. She walked ahead, paying their fee to get in before asking the woman behind the desk for directions. She avoided the subway or any public transport for that matter as much as she could because, on top of it being crowded with too many minds, she was horrible with directions. There was only a moment's wait before the subway cars bustled in. As they got on, Kori got one final text from Connor complaining about waiting, before they were pulled away into the darkness and away from cell phone reception. That's when she noticed that Raven hadn't taken a sip of her cocktail while she was halfway done her own. Grimacing, Raven took a tentative sip before turning to smile at Kori who was awaiting her approval. To give Kori some credit, it was not half as bad as Raven suspected, which is saying a lot since tequila was not her drink of choice. However, as the alien was passionately giving Raven a rundown of what they should do that night, the half-demon quickly transferred half her concoction into Kori's cup. She had to drive them both home when it was all over anyway. It seemed so mundane to think about drinking and driving but unfortunately, Raven knew it was worse to drink and fly from experience. Kori would be more stubborn and full of emotion than she already was when drunk and Raven was probably going to have to take care of her when they were home as well. So, she smiled and sipped her remaining drink while she listened to her oblivious friend.

The passengers seemed lifeless in the dimly lit subway car as they were all jostled around in unison, occasionally lit by a peek of sky that snuck by in the train's path. Raven shifted in her worn out stiff seat as they neared the final station and started to giggle as a woman struggled to walk through the car while keeping her balance. Kori quickly turned to Raven with concern.

"Oh no, I am being the loud!" she exclaimed earning a glance from a couple seated opposite from them.

"No you're not Kori"

"But you are laughing"

"I'll tell you later don't worry"

"I was right, I am the loud"

With Kori quieting down, the train pulled into the station. This time everyone in the station had outfits more bizarre than them, the bright outfits radiating the beige tiles bellow. With big smiles, half of them teetering on tired the other half giddy with excite, Raven and Kori followed the crowd out onto the colourful streets. From Kori showing up unannounced at Raven's house to chiding her into a pink top and a lot of grovelling later, the two titans had finally made it to PRIDE.

As soon as the girls got out onto the streets it was like they were in a whole new part of town. Rainbows littered the floor, glitter was sprinkled everywhere and everyone seemed genuinely content to be there. But Raven knew that they had not yet reached the celebration and this sprinkle of groups in the street before them would soon turn into a swarm that would never let the party end. Koriand'r stumbled in front of her as Raven was engulfed by waves of her giddiness.

"I think I have the tequila feeling now"

"Maybe we should call Miguel to come get us then"

Ding

"Oh I am finding the friend on my phone...this way"

Raven sprinted behind Kori muttering reminders to herself to stay grounded while fighting the urge to teleport beside her. In a blink of an eye and the turn of a corner, they had reached Thrutch Street. Everyone was talking excitedly, walking somewhere with purpose, becoming best friends with strangers. Kori began to fly a little before Raven dragged her back down, making sure to hold her hand as they weaved through the eccentric crowd. Raven's house was near her university, but in the quaint tucked away corner where old houses were. It was a quiet neighbourhood with new families or old couples and she relished in its constant calm presence. She could go to sleep with the window open, only hearing the occasional car whiz by down the street. The loudest moments in the morning would be when kids were out on the street ready to play. Here it was so busy, with the cars blaring their horns on the freeway drowned out by the music coming out of a bunch of clubs and people hysterically trying to talk over one another. Before it became too much for Raven Koriand'r pulled her into a quieter street.

"Miguel!"

"Kori! You finally made it!"

Raven walked behind dreading having to talk to the group of friends with unrelenting smiles. She tried to remember the little summaries Kori gave of each of Miguel's friends but she came short and realized there were more people than she had anticipated.

"Raven, I have heard so much about you!"

"Yeah, I've heard a lot about you too Miguel"

"Kori told me that you have your own place now"

"Yeah it's kind of far though"

"Cherry vodka?"

"Oh my friends they have let the carts unattended," Kori cried grabbing Miguel's drink, "Let us drive them"

Raven followed her tequila filled friend to two gray carts parked on the side of the road with her arms crossed. She wished she could just down Miguel's drink herself. Talking to new people came a lot easier to Kori than it did to her but she wasn't in a hurry to get to know these people either. She muttered something about keys that no one seemed to hear before Miguel's date Ethan introduced himself to her. In front of them, Miguel was on the ground trying to drag the cart with his bare hands while Kori sat inside with his other friend and tried to move it by forcing the steering wheel to cooperate. Eventually, Ethan's friend from college exclaimed there are no keys loud enough for everyone to realize and start laughing.

"Let us drive them" Miguel mocked Kori

"Hush we need more drinks" she retorted.

And so the group made a beeline to Wine Rack, which was to close in 15 minutes but was fortunately only a street away. They tried to get past many just walking, in wheelchairs, trying to drive a motorcycle and just getting across the block seemed endless. At one point Kori had come back to Raven's side because a man had sneered at her to slow down. But after a fleeting moment, she returned to the crowd making sure to tell everyone that they are so very pretty. At one point Miguel had asked a bewildered security guard if he could sit on him. Connor and M'gann had found Miguel as they rounded the corner but bumped into the same man who berated Kori as he waved them over. Kori and Miguel immediately began arguing with him until they parted ways at the intersection. Being dragged by Koriand'r, all Raven knew was that the last words exchanged by Kori was an aggressive suggestion for the man to go back to his retirement home. Miguel turned to Kori.

"Wait why are we fighting him"

"I thought he was doing the fighting with you"

"Nope"

They laughed all the way to the wine rack, making it with 6 minutes to spare. There was a small line up but it seemed to be moving quickly as Raven was about to get a migraine from the abrupt mood swings from her two drunken friends. Kori tried and failed to convince Raven that she was only like this on tequila. For a girl so bubbly and welcoming, Raven knew she was just as loyal if not more, and if she thought anyone threatened her friends her drunken wrath would not be an afterthought. As soon as they made it inside everyone ran to get drinks like there was a drought and this was the last place with water. After an unsuccessful attempt to get Kori to put away the extra bottle of wine, she headed to the checkout line. It seemed to wind around the entire store but Kori spotted Miguel and Ethan at the front. Miguel being Miguel had already made friends with a man in line in front of them. Raven was starting to understand why Kori became such good friends with him so fast.

"Miguel, move forwards I am wanting to buy this"

"I don't even know who this girl is," Miguel said to the confused man in front of him "but she just really wants me"

"Miguel move"

"She wants to hop on my dick"

"Do the shutting up you gay-"

That was when Raven heard a collective gasp and watched the man behind them try to get a better view with his eyebrows raised in shock. As far as anyone in the store could see, Kori was some random girl bothering Miguel. They did not know that she called him gay just as he would call her E.T for fun. Regardless, Kori said gay. In the middle of PRIDE. Quite loudly.

"We're going to die because you pissed off all of Wine Rack. Great," Raven whispered.

Miraculously they had made it outside without a scratch and were now beside an angry group of people who could not get inside because it was officially 11:02pm. In the short time that Raven had taken her eye off of Kori to talk to Connor, she had finished most of the wine and stole a sticker that said 'Slut' off of a stranger's chest.

"So you're working while being on the team?"

"Yeah, M'gann wanted us to go to school together but I got an apprenticeship at this small mechanic shop"

"Near Clark's home?"

"Yeah M-"

Kori came back clutching a petite male with someone else trailing behind them. Connor recognized him immediately and introduced his boss and his boyfriend to the girls.

"We loooove Connor," Kori piped in, "You should be of great delight to hire him"

"Well I actually knew him before the-"

"Did you know of this creepy man who followed my friend on the net"

Silence. Kori had done it again. Connor's boss was led away by his boyfriend back onto the lively streets. Everything got quieter as Wine Rack officially closed for the night and the disappointed customers headed back into the wave of people on the street ahead. M'gann had come back with Ethan's friends in tow after raiding the nearest convenience store for munchies. Beside them, Kori was bickering with a girl about sharing when Miguel suddenly started yelling at everyone to get up and celebrate. He had a quick rant about no one celebrating his day before disappearing into the street with Kori. Raven, instead of running after them was preoccupied with someone undoubtedly in immense pain. She ran the opposite way straining to focus on this one person without getting mixed up with the jumble of emotions beaming out of the intoxicated partiers. She rounded the corner and made sure no one was in sight before stepping into the darkness to be teleported closer. She promised Kori that she would be normal tonight, that she would help her blend in, but no one was here to recognize her. No harm no foul she thought just as she arrived a few blocks down just as a shadow of a man loomed over her. Raven quickly turned her right hand forming a shield, her left raised to blast whoever it was in case her defence was intercepted. However, instead of fighting, the man landed feet first on her shield, bounced off and landed behind her, coming face to face with her fist full of dark energy.

"Connor?!"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"No something's wrong, what are you doing here?"

"I heard weird screams...are you supposed to be doing that in civvies?"

"It never really stops, even on our days off. Now come on and try not to get killed by me"

Connor muttered something under his breath that Raven didn't care enough to try and hear. They were left in an empty room with garage doors at the other end that filtered the moonlight onto the gray floor. The feeling of dread, confusion and great pain seemed to still be in the room that Raven was sure whoever it was lay on the floor just moments ago. She was about to turn around when Connor crossed the room and crouched down just before the moon lit floor. Blood; only a tiny bit but it was there. Connor collected a sample and said he would take it back to the lab and get someone to run a few tests. Raven didn't ask why he was carrying a tubed cotton swab because she didn't really want to talk about what really drew her there. Beyond the pain, there was a lingering, unearthly rancour that almost reminded her that of Trigon's. Whoever this was, she knew they were not of earth but she wanted to know what superboy could find out about this thing's victim first. They agreed to keep this to themselves until more information came up and walked back towards their friends, a heavy silence hanging between them.


	2. The Club

The Club

Back on to the subdued street with the now closed Wine Rack, none of their friends were to be found.

"I saw Kori leave with Miguel but the others should be here"

"I don't know about them but I think I hear Kori on the next street"

"With Miguel?"

"No his boyfriend Evan or something"

"Ethan."

Connor was right except something had clearly happened while the two were gone. Ethan was standing with his hands crossed against the fence while Kori was pulling on him and talking frantically. None of the others were there except for Ethan's friend who seemed to be boiling with rage toward a group of people that were too capricious to describe. Raven made her way towards Ethan's friend, not yet ready to deal with Kori's muddled feelings.

"What happened?"

"Who- Oh, these lunatic line dancers are trying to fight us because of _your_ friend"

"Is this a joke?"

"Tell her to stop turning everyone against Ethan!"

Raven sighed. Even Dick's incessant combat training when they first became Titans was more inviting than having a conversation with a bunch of pissed off, inebriated college students.

"Where is Miguel?"

"That's what we were trying to figure out before grandpa emo took Colander's side "

"You mean Koriand'r?"

From across the street a man that was at least in his late 40s who wore a long black cardigan and dark grungy makeup piped in.

"I told you not to fight the line dancers!"

Raven made her way over to Koriand'r with somehow even less sense of what happened than before she talked to Ethan's friend. She was determined not to lose her this time so when Kori pulled her along determined to pursue Ethan down an ominous alley, Raven followed. It was quite narrow, with only a few people either passed out on the floor or fighting about nothing. Before them, there was a couple sitting on the curb with a man asleep by their feet. Koriand'r, of course, went to check on him and after an endless conversation about seemingly nothing, she was unsure of which way they had come from. Delighted, Raven took this opportunity to lead Kori back to where they had come from in hopes of finding everyone and finally leaving. Miraculously everyone they had lost appeared once again on the street before them except for Miguel. However, M'gann was crying about something being not right in the middle of the street and Kori had run to join her. Connor and Raven made their way over to the girls, taking their respective emotional mess and agreeing to contact one another if they found out anything else about what happened in that room. That was when Raven finally found Miguel also crying beside someone's car and led Kori over to him. Both of them started crying together as Raven snatched Miguel's drink out of his hand and placed it on a table. They were having a melt down beside a pub patio but no one inside took notice whether they were too drunk themselves to understand or didn't care enough to talk about someone other than themselves.

"Raven, thanks for finding me!"

Miguel managed to make out the same sentiment towards Kori before once again grabbing his drink, downing it and walking away. He then stole the tissues off of a table of strangers who looked bewildered at the crying man before them. As soon as Azury, Miguel's friend who seemed as put together as Raven could hope for appeared she left them together and dragged Kori into the pub's bathroom.

"Kori, what's going on?"

"The dancers of the street wanted to-"

"No. You were supposed to be in space for a year, visiting Tamaran, getting away from everything with Dick. And now that you are back early, the first thing you want to do is this?"

"He is now being with someone new," Koriand'r sighed looking at the floor "but not of new to me."

"You knew Ethan?"

"I always think of this happening, but I always do the expecting of more than he can be I think"

"Dick."

Before Koriand'r could explain more there was a loud knock at the door and an irate employee shouted that only one person was aloud in at a time.

"I am not looking!"

"That's not what she's worried about Kori"

"I do not understand"

Raven opened the door and brushed passed an overworked waitress with a line forming behind her. Kori explained that Miguel was just overwhelmed this year by how taboo his sexuality and Meta powers were compared to how it was back home. He just wanted to be free for one night and could get a little emotional when drunk. She managed to get Raven to agree to go to one club together before heading home that night.

After a series of meltdowns from both Miguel and Koriand'r the four had made it to a club with a line that looked longer than life itself. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately for Raven, Kori said she had a plan. She marched halfway into the barricade and started pushing her way through. As soon as someone noticed, with her hands against her chest, she began explaining that people are pushing her, even going as far as to offer them her spot. Seeing this, Miguel ran over to Kori's side and started asking her if he can pee now. When Azury finally rounded the two up, the man in front of Raven turned to his friend and whispered

"Oh, she's drunk...I thought that she was sick"

As they got closer to the entrance, a new friend of Miguel's joined them in line, who Raven later learned was named Rick. While this was happening, Koriand'r had been chatting with a man in a bear suit who made an excuse to go talk to his own friend that had just arrived. Kori nodded before proceeding to follow him and introducing herself to his friend. By the time they had reached the entrance Kori and her new friend had come to the conclusion that she has not peaked but is just sexually frustrated. When they entered the club, the group began a frenzied search for cover money. With the transfer of a few stamps from the hand of Miguel to his friends who didn't pay, they finally made it into a club. Miguel was ready to hand out money for everyone to get in and Raven wondered how a full time titan had time to make money on the side. She took a break to get a bachelors degree and could barely hold a job herself. Raven knew she was truly sober as she looked into the crowd moving to music that wasn't quite danceable but fairly popular on the radio. There was what she believed to be a drag show on the barely elevated stage, a colourful man seemed to be giving it his all as he perfrmed for the crowd. Everyone at the front had come together as one and were cheering him on as they jumped to the music, drinks in hand without a care in the world. A very questionable black spiral staircase leading up was guarded by security as a euphoric couple ran down, ignoring the cracked paint beneath them as they whispered false promises and exchanged giggles. Past this was a small hallway leading to what Raven assumed would be the grimy washrooms. After Kori getting yelled at numerous times for blocking the exit, Raven pushed the group down the hallway. There was a petite girl telling everyone to be safe and happy but under the fluorescent lights, Raven could now see all the drinks and cups that littered the floor. Miguel pushed the girl towards Kori.

"No I don't want to kiss her Miguel" she yelled as she made her way into the dark room at the other end.

Raven could feel the humidity hit immediately as she stepped in. It was as if they were in a sauna. Kori took no notice to the temperature change and went in, making sure to cheer on two boys who were hooking up like they were the only two in the room. Unluckily, raven still had on her jean jacket and had to pull it down to the crook of her elbows even after leaving the boiling oven of a room. Rick took notice of this.

"I like your style," he said as he pulled down his own jean jacket to mimic Raven.

"Ok"

"Also I had an edible and I think it's finally hitting me"

"Wait how do you know Miguel?"

"We hooked up once...I think"

Raven looked over to Kori struggling to keep Miguel from making his way to Rick and thought back to the few times she had gotten in between the two when they were about to dance together. Even drunk, Koriand'r was determined to make sure that Miguel doesn't mess up what he had with Ethan. But just as Raven thought Kori was sober enough for them to head home, she had come back with a shot of something for Miguel and herself. Before Raven could do anything, they had downed the shots, pushed their way to the middle of the dance floor and climbed a table to dance on top of. Raven watched as the security guard made his way over, refusing to do anything. If she couldn't drag them out, might as well let them get kicked out she thought. Miguel fell off first, onto a Raven who didn't have enough time to step out of the way, and Kori got down after her new friend who deemed her sexually frustrated while waiting in line helped her down. As soon as they stepped out Miguel fell on the steps then proceeded to push his way through the crowds of Thrutch Street. It was almost 3:00am but the road was still littered with people who had no intention of winding down. When they had finally made it into a quieter avenue Kori decided to sit on a parked U-Haul while Miguel once again cried sitting in the middle of the street. Seeing this Rick pretended to be super excited about a Subway that was still open and left to take care of his munchies. After attempting to lift Miguel up only to have him spin around, butt planted on the floor, Raven led Azury down the street. She called an Uber and bought a bag of skittles to share with Azury on the way home. Heading back to the U-Haul, she saw a blond woman with her arm draped over Miguel, talking to Kori.

"I think I saw him crying like three hours ago"

"Yes, it is like a cycle for friend Miguel tonight"

"The Uber's here, we should go," Raven interjected.

Maybe she was still bothered by what she didn't find with Connor, but she wasn't too keen on the way this stranger was invested in Miguel and Koriand'r. The two drunken friends, leaning on each other, stumbled behind Raven and Azury as they made their way to the Uber. They seemed to be moving in slow motion as Raven waited for them before pulling on Kori to make sure she doesn't slow down traffic.

"Raven, you have saved me!"

"Terrific."

"Miguel, you're going to die!" Koriand'r gasped as he stumbled off the sidewalk although he was only stepping in the barren bike lane.

Finally, they had made it into the Uber and were on their way back with half of their friends lost. Miguel was falling in and out of sleep in the back while Kori took this as an opportunity to find out everything she could about Azury. The driver had remained silent after confirming that they were the correct passengers and his van drove smoothly down the road. Raven sat back waiting for the silence that never came and didn't open her eyes until they had reached Fanion Station.

* * *

**_Hey, this is the first thing I have ever written and would greatly appreciate any reviews! I have a boundless appreciation for both the Teen Titan's show and the comics. I know nothing will ever compare to those but I wanted to see what their lives would be like if they kind of went through the same experiences I did and that's a little of what this is. Anyway, thanks for reading!_**


	3. Bagels and Quesadillas

Bagels and Quesadillas

Raven's heels clicked across the empty parking lot as she made her way to the black SUV that seemed to be parked further than she remembered. Behind her, Koriand'r, Miguel and Azury dragged themselves along, the glint in their eyes from the streets of PRIDE long gone. Miguel tried to explain to Raven how much he loved her car as Kori helped him into it while reminding him not to throw up. She then walked across to join Raven in the front seat, giving her a tired smile. The sky was now so dark that the half-moon seemed to be shining brighter than usual. Raven turned the music down as she tried to move as smoothly as she could while getting to Miguel's place as fast as she could. It wasn't too hard given the empty streets but his constant hiccupping in the back seat made her apprehensive. After dropping Miguel and Azury off she finally headed home but promised Koriand'r that they would stop by McDonald's first. Since she was living in a college area, 24 hours fast food wouldn't be so hard to find.

"It is Barbara"

"Hmm?" Raven mumbled trying to pass the light before it turned red.

"He is with her now and I am not of surprise truly but it is still hurting to think of them"

"Sorry Kori, I-"

"No, I am understanding that Dick is keeping his feelings secret he was doing this even with me. But do I deserve not to know Raven? He was telling me that he will always love me...but that was a lie, yes?"

"I think you're asking the wrong person but let's get you some carbs first."

With the promise of food, Koriand'r looked less on the brink of tears and more on the verge of falling asleep. However, as Raven reached the drive through she learned that they were closed for an hour to switch to the breakfast menu as it was now past 4am. They drove home in silence. Raven didn't check to see if she was truly asleep or just resting her eyes because she didn't know what to say. If Koriand'r knew that Raven was aware of Dick and Barbara would she still have to come clean? Typical; even miles away, months later, her decision to return to Gotham still haunts her.

* * *

It was the type of weather that made Raven want to stay in and read by the windowsill, tucked away in her tufted blanket. The bleak sky was cushioned with gray clouds as far as the eye could see; all muddled together without giving away where one ended and the other began. The rain made small splatters on the glass before the windshield wiped it away as raven glanced once again at her GPS. Dick called her a bit past midday whispering feverishly about some mission in Gotham before asking her if she could drive to meet him there in a few hours. He had called again before she left sounding more collected, presumably having come up with a plan for whatever happened just hours before. He asked to send a car before suggesting that he pay for her cab but she declined in order to drive herself. Dick thought it was a little funny that Raven would do something so mundane as to drive herself in a new car, alone to Gotham. She simply retorted she couldn't get better at being normal if she didn't drive. After asking once more, he allowed Raven to drive her car in, and gave her directions on how to enter Wayne Manor because he knew neither could out stubborn the other. She smiled to herself as she parked, knowing that if she hadn't figured out Batman's identity herself, she wouldn't be here today. She chalked it down to having read a lot of detective novels but it was partly her empathic abilities. She decided not to reveal this since her unprecedented powers were the core of Wayne's skepticism, but his turning her away from the justice league, led her straight to the Teen Titans. When she entered, Alfred greeted her as warmly as he would if she were one of the Robins before leading her to the cave. Batman's distrust towards her never really wavered, at most, it was subdued, but she was family to Dick and that was enough for Alfred. Dick was already walking towards her with warm tea as she entered the room. Barbara was engulfed by something on the monitor but turned, smiling at Raven as they made their way over.

"I knew you wanted to have a boring life but a mom van Raven," Dick whistled as he leaned on Barbara's wheel chair, "that's commitment!"

"SUV" Raven sneered.

"He's just jealous because he was handed a car for being a rich boy and you paid for one which is now newer than his"

"Hey I earned that car with child labour"

"Whatever you say, rich boy," Barbara grinned as she rolled towards Raven "thanks for coming by the way, I know you're technically on a break right now"

"Of course, but why am I here exactly?"

"I'm guessing you only brought civvies?" Dick said walking past the girls.

"Well-"

"Don't worry, I have a suit, I'll brief you on the way"

Raven followed Dick down the corridor without questioning why he had a replica of her Teen Titans gear. He explained that Batman was taken, when he called Raven, by D.A.V.E. This robot was previously destroyed by Batman, but its sudden reappearance was not what kept Dick on edge. Raven knew he was holding something back as he briefed her, but she waited and listened until he finished.

"So we just get in and get out. I've found the quickest rout to Batman that you will take as I enter through the front and we'll most likely corner D.A.V.E in the middle."

"But why am _I_ here"

"Right like I said D.A.V.E wasn't supposed to be back but now that he is, he has taken the personality of a human"

"I'm here to make sure D.A.V.E isn't sentient?"

"Something like that"

"M'gann can do that"

"Fine," Dick sighed sinking onto the bed beside Raven as he hung his head in defeat, "D.A.V.E thinks he's the Joker"

"Then shut up and leave so I can change"

Dick smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, as he shut the door behind him. Joker was the reason Barbara was in a wheelchair and after she survived, it didn't matter to her if he was killed in cold blood to the point where she became obsessed. Eventually, she put herself back together, without the help of Dick, though he was so torn when he couldn't do anything that Raven couldn't count how many times he would call simply to rant to her. Now as oracle she gathered all this information for them so she already knew what D.A.V.E had become and yet Dick was still worried. He never did stop worrying about people who didn't need it. She stepped out of the room and made her way back, seeing Dick quickly plant a kiss on Barbara's forehead before guiding Raven to their ride. Mission first, questions later she thought to herself as she prepared herself for her first mission in a while. It was time to switch off the part in her brain that calls him Dick but instead of Robin she would be working with Nightwing tonight. The black sky engulfed them as they left the cave and before long they had reached the building. Raven rounded the back making sure to feel out where Batman was. Since D.A.V.E wasn't sentient she couldn't be too sure of his location and had to trust that Nightwing knew what he was doing. Raven blasted open the back door only to find herself in an elevator looking space with a keypad at one end.

"Raven watch-"

Nightwing's warning came too late. The door handle had split apart from the door and hit a random key. Raven was immediately hit with a bolt of electricity coming from somewhere she couldn't see. Another bolt hit as she dropped to her knees, hand against the steel door but right before the next shock, she phased through the door onto the other side. Still week from the electric shock, she was unable to compose herself enough to fly and had to cross the room that was sure to be filled with more traps instead. A couple of explosions later, she had made it to the door, making sure to not obliterate it this time, she tentatively peered inside. Batman was contained in what looked like glass that Raven broke as soon as he stepped back and took cover. He made his way across the room and gave a curt nod.

"Raven"

"Batman"

Before long they were reunited with Nightwing who came running in with a lanky looking robot. It was entirely silver with flat metal mimicking its hands and legs, and although quite tall, what should be its head contained a small screen that lit up red. Noticing another door like the one Raven got electrocuted in, she began straining to pry it open with her dark energy. Nightwing saw this and after punching D.A.V.E sideways, he gave a roundhouse kick that sent him flying into the doorway. Batman instantaneously hit a key with his batarang sending shocks to the no longer speaking D.A.V.E. On the way home Dick insisted she spend the night instead of driving back home to which even Batman agreed.

There was a quiet knock on the guest bedroom door before Dick stepped inside.

"I didn't say come in"

"I knew you were up. Let's go to the roof"

The roof was always where Dick seemed to be when either he or Raven had to exchange words that they wouldn't dare utter in daylight back when they were at the Titans Tower. She was glad to see that this hadn't changed.

"So you and Barbara..."

"Yeah, I don't even think I realized until everything with Joker happened and then I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. When things ended with Kori, I thought it was more of a break, I think she believed that too. This wasn't supposed to happen Raven but I swear it's not some"

"I know it's real, you don't have to justify anything to me"

"I just feel like no matter what I do someone gets hurt and I hate that. Becoming Nightwing was supposed to be freeing from everything I was under Batman. But when did everything else get so fucked up?"

"When was everything else ever ok?"

"Touché"

"So what does Victor think?"

Instead of responding, Dick found a rock and started fidgeting with it, until he looked up at Raven regarding him with concern and sighed.

"I wish I could tell Wally. But I can't and there's no way I'm shoving this in Artemis's face. Besides, everyone has a lot going on right now, it's not the right time."

"We don't have the luxury of good timing Dick, you know that. And about Artemis, you have to stop assuming what our limits are."

"Yeah, already got the lecture from Barbara, save your breath."

Raven smiled, "Watching her shut you up was always entertaining."

"So you're not going to kill me for dragging you back to Gotham for a late night therapy session?"

"Like I didn't know that the moment I left. Besides Kori probably will soon enough"

"Okay," Dick said getting up and holding his hand out to Raven, "I'll tell Vic tomorrow"

"_That's_ what you got from this?"

* * *

Koriand'r was now sitting on the couch as Raven raided her fridge, regretting not going grocery shopping that morning. She was drowsily holding up the bottle of water Raven handed her, with her head hung on the armrest.

"Ok do you want a salad, Quesadilla, grilled-"

"What kind of quesadilla friend?"

"The cheese kind. There's nothing in the fridge."

"Yes."

"Oh I found a bagel-"

"Yes too!"

Raven turned on the stove and placed a tortilla on the pan before her as she dropped the bagel in the toaster simultaneously. After checking in on Kori a few times to ensure she hadn't dozed off, she finally brought the weird ensemble of food with the rarely used bottle of mustard. Koriand'r seemed to devour everything before her in seconds, managing to express how good it tasted and that she was sobering up, between bites. After forcing Kori to drink the entire bottle of water, Raven took her upstairs and let her crawl into bed. She was about to leave the room when she found her copy of Macbeth on the floor. Raven picked it up and made her way to her makeshift library with a couch just big enough for herself which was engulfed in a huge blanket. She was so tired that she almost fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow uncaring of the sudden drop of temperature in the room.

_Something wicked this way comesss_

Raven merely turned over and fell into a deeper sleep assuming that Kori was sleep talking in the room beside hers.


	4. Ocean Air

Ocean Air

Raven had woken up early, bright beams of light shining through her curtain-less bay window. Although she had fallen asleep in her makeshift library many times before, her body felt especially stiff and drained of energy. She sauntered out of the room and went to check on Kori who was still very much asleep. She got dressed as she decided to go on the grocery trip she had been neglecting while Kori got some much-needed rest. However, with a glance at the clock, she realized that the lack of curtains had gotten her up with the sun and she would now have to wait a couple of hours before any grocery stores were even open. She was surprised since she didn't feel sleep deprived, at most she felt hungover but this would be a good a time as any to finish that term paper she was also procrastinating on. By the time she had gotten her school life together and stocked her fridge enough to feed both her and the Tamaranean, it had become noon. She knocked on her bedroom door, only getting grunts from Kori as a response. Raven asked if she wanted her to pick up breakfast but at the mention of food, Kori was already opening the door and heading to Raven's car.

Raven walked through a crowded McDonalds, as she made a beeline for the back, away from prying eyes. Although the Teen Titans were very public when they started, the new Titans have become a great deal more secretive and Raven felt her recognition fading. But now, sitting in front of Kori, it was harder to blend into the background. In front of them sat a family who had calmed down their toddler's tantrum with a phone and were now rushing to eat before another one of their children threw a fit. To the other side were a big group of men and women who were clearly retired and regularly went out to eat and gossip about minuscule matters. None of the people surrounding them seemed to care who they were so Raven thought it was a good a time as any to talk about what brought Kori home so soon.

"Kori, how did you find out about Dick?"

"Victor"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, he was to contact me to collaborate on a mission in space. He was quite mad at Dick and told me to stay in the space. So I came home."

Raven shook her head realizing that Robin probably knew that Vic would call Kori about his mission, which is why he decided to tell him first. She was still disappointed that even after her trip to Gotham, he couldn't face Kori himself. And Victor, after all these years, has still not figured out not to tell Kori what to do?

"I knew too Kori"

"I have knowledge of this, friend, I am not mad"

"How?"

"Well, I had done the confiding in of Donna and she was telling me to kick his bottom and such before she learned that the other woman is Barbara. But you had no surprise when I had done the confiding last night"

"I had a mission in Gotham the day before Vic called you -"

"I just need to know, friend, when did he stop loving me? When we took the break I admired him for choosing to be Nightwing even though my heart was of tiny pieces. I always tell him I love him because he is a hero but he is also my best friend and he is not here anymore. He was doing lies Raven! Why did he make me love him to simply leave me?"

"When he talks about you, I know that love is not gone Kori but you even told me once that you thought he could be with Barbara if things were different. Maybe he needs to be with her first to realize he wants you or maybe not. But you have to be you outside of him too ok?"

"You are not of many words friend, but sometimes it is all I need," she smiled squeezing Raven's hand "Vic was doing the freak out when I saw him yesterday"

"Hold on you went to Vic first?"

"When I heard, I was wanting to go home, so I was flying straight to our home, our tower. I believe I set off the alarm of Victors so he was there a moment after I landed on our roof..."

Raven nodded along to Kori's animated storytelling as she cut into her hotcakes. She hadn't realized how hungry she had been, preoccupied with chores and her term paper, but at that moment it tasted like the best thing in the world

"...that is where Miguel was telling me of PRIDE. I was too sad of course but Vic thought it was a good idea. And it was a good distraction, yes?"

"Sure" Raven said as she made a mental note to talk to Vic about saying unnecessary things to Kori.

"And do not worry of the length of my stay. I only need to do the sorting out of what next. I may as well be back in the space soon-"

"My house is for a group of college students so there's a lot of room"

"Yes it is very spacious, and handsome-"

"No, I mean if you're not going back just stay with me."

As they left Kori asked if they could go visit Victor and his team. She mentioned she wasn't able to talk to him properly the other day and Raven reluctantly agreed to go with her. When Kori left, there were no more mandatory dinners and this made it easier for Raven to excuse herself from their lives. She still checked up on them over the phone or even through the news but she took peace in knowing that she wouldn't be around them long enough to put them all in danger again. Even going through school was to make life mundane enough to stop using her powers that connected her to Trigon. Now with Koriand'r back, her excuses were becoming less credible. Raven rolled out her window and rested her arm on it as she breathed in the familiar ocean tinged air. She hadn't been here since the day she moved out and after what happened, she wasn't planning on going back so soon.

* * *

The common area was piled high with Raven's things. Even the sun shining through their floor to ceiling windows barely got past the barricade of boxes. Raven sighed as she put down her box of candles, feeling as though she hadn't been able to breathe since she told everyone that she was moving out. But truthfully, she had been holding her breath as she waited for everyone to leave the tower and her behind in it. Dick hadn't really been living there since he had become Nightwing but he never truly moved out either. Koriand'r had moved back just days before since her split with Dick but it was only temporary as she was preparing to go back to Tamaran. Although Garfield's room was as unkempt as it was when he was actually using it, he was living on set more than he was at the Tower. He had also been talking about moving out after his first couple of guest appearances earned him enough to buy a place of his own. A month ago, Victor had come to Raven with his news of leading a new team to which she responded with genuine content until he started talking about the new tower. So, she decided to tell Victor that she would be moving next month in order to attend university and take a small break from everything else. It wasn't as though she had lied since she was accepted that year as well as the year prior but she had not truly intended on going until she realized everyone was leaving the tower. Thankfully, with a few strings pulled by Dick, Raven was able to get a quiet house to herself instead of the college roommate experience she had been living in since becoming a Titan. However, despite Raven getting everything set up by herself, her friends had all shown up on her last day at the Tower to see her out with their final pizza order from the place around the corner as they sat on their now worn-out couch. The emotions were so heavy that day that Raven was almost drowning in them. Raven knew that she wasn't the only one feeling it; like something was ending indefinitely but no one dared say anything, they all just kept smiling and moving boxes.

The sun was now setting, as orange and pink light filtered through the stack and onto the kitchen tiles beneath Ravens feet.

"Seriously your room is like 5 by 5 where did all this shit come from" Garfield exclaimed as he entered the room and placed the final box down.

Dick was gone to bring around the moving truck and Kori, after a few words exchanged with Dick as she barely managed to hold a whisper, had abruptly headed to Raven's new home to help her set up for the remainder of the night. Victor had been running around all day balancing helping Raven pack while working on a few enhancements for a Tower that he was leaving too and was now nowhere to be seen. Raven regarded Garfield skeptically because although he was the only one still in the tower carrying her things, he also spent the better half of the morning taking things out of these boxes than putting them in. It was no secret that Raven's room was off-limits, but it wasn't as though all the titans had been in it at one point or another. However, this morning Garfield was acting like a kid loose in a Candy store.

"Thanks."

"So we're actually done huh?"

Garfield stood before Raven and kicked seemingly nothing as he shoved his hands in his pockets. The rays of the sunset cast a pink hue on his green face, giving a playful glint to his eyes.

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna miss you Rae."

Garfield's statement felt so final as she felt some strong emotion she didn't have the energy to identify as it made the air feel sparse. Regardless, she wanted to comfort him and show all the titans that they would be fine, maybe even better without her.

"You won't even notice with all the movies you will be starring in Garfield, don't start crying on me now"

"Kori already did that, but I'm surprised you didn't stop any of our plans"

"What?"

"You mean you thought I was actually fascinated by your 500 candles, which all look the same by the way, or that Vic really needs to fix the Tower today?"

"Oh"

"Come on! Didn't you notice that Dicks been gone pretty long to just pick up the moving truck? It's because he didn't even get a rental. We were kinda hoping you would cave."

"But Dick has his own family, Kori is going back home and Vic has a new team. You were all already gone one way or-"

"I know we've all been doing our own shit for a while, but you're moving out now, so I guess we all should go too. You just gave us an excuse to stay I guess"

"I didn't kno-"

"No, I finally got off my ass and got a condo. I mean it's inevitable right?"

"Right," Raven said as she looked down, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"'Rae?"

"Mhmm?"

Garfield had walked over and placed a hesitant hand on Raven's arm as she looked up at him.

"You're only as alone as you let yourself be...don't forget-"

Raven threw her arms around him and after a moment's hesitation, Garfield wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her closer. Raven was surprised that Garfield had become someone so important to the point where only he could threaten tears on this day. There was nothing she could say to measure up to everything he had given her with that simple reminder she thought, so instead, she just mumbled into his chest

"I'll miss you too Gar"

"What did you just call me?" Garfield grinned as he pulled away.

His hand was now cupping her face, his thumb almost trailing her lip as Raven finally looked up at him. He wore a big toothy grin on his face as he triumphantly looked at Raven but as she looked into his eyes she was scared to see that he felt everything she did. The sun was almost entirely gone and when the lights went out, it was almost pitch black in the room. Raven reprimanded herself for feeling any of that long enough to cause a power outage at the tower but with Garfield standing so close she couldn't think straight. So, as he stepped closer, she brought her lips to his. She surprised herself as she kissed him feverishly and he returned it with such urgency because they both knew when they stopped, she will be gone. She couldn't remember how long they stayed like that for because it was over too soon and lasted too long all the same. Raven didn't know where her longing began or where Garfield's ended but she figured she had nothing else to lose since she already shut down the tower. But what scared Raven most was the hope radiating off of Garfield as her fingers tangled in his hair. She didn't know she could crave someone so much as she inhaled his scent between stolen breaths and tried to hold onto this moment as long as she could. She felt as though she could melt right into him, like she didn't care about anything but being with him from then on. In a second there was a flash and Victor's voice sprung them apart, both stunned and breathing heavy as the room was blinding with light.

"Sorry! My bad guys," Victor's voice boomed from the nearby intercom, "That wasn't supposed to happen but Dicks back, I'll come help y'all!"

The truck was all loaded and Dick had slipped into the driver's seat as Raven made her way around the truck. Although she was sure that he was there to see her off just like the others, she also knew he lingered longer than he needed to see Kori off as well. She shook her head, realizing that Kori would probably be staying with her that night, but she would never admit how grateful she was for that. Victor and Garfield stood side by side, the light from the moon casting sharp edges over their faces. She said goodbye to Victor first.

"Yeah, well call me if you ever need help with anything especially if you need me to make your house look less like grandma's place"

"Don't worry I'll never get another IT guy"

"Yeah, no guys, only books" Victor smirked as he gave Raven a hug. She planted a chaste kiss on his cheek before she moved in front of Garfield.

"Rae, I know you're leaving and this...I'm not trying to stop that I...I just need to tell you-"

"Please don't," Raven said barely a whisper but she knew he would hear.

"I'll miss you"

"Me too," Raven said before giving him a quick hug and turning to the truck.

She left feeling as she did on many missions before; like she was holding back and it was taking more energy than it did to just give in to what she craved to do. But she knew in both instances giving in would be detrimental to everyone she cared for. So, she rolled the window down and let the hope Garfield gave her fade away with the ocean breeze.

* * *

Victor and his team immediately greeted them as they entered the common room and it seemed like time stood still in there. Nothing was changed from it except, the little messes that showed up when they all lived there was now a distant memory. The team mirrored the Titans when they had first started, all excited and determined to prove themselves to one another. At once Kori had begun talking excitedly to the new Titans as Connor pulled Raven away from the group.

"Whoever was attacked was a Metahuman but I don't think the gene was activated yet, so it could have just been from a random fight or something."

"But you said you heard screams."

"Yeah but there's nothing else t-"

"I sensed something...inhuman that night but I wasn't sure what it had to do with anything"

"I guess whoever it was disappeared pretty quickly for a normal person. I'll look for missing persons in the area or something but it's a wide search right now."

"Thanks, and Connor-"

"I know, I won't tell"

She gave a curt nod before heading back to the group. Victor was now sprawled out on the couch as the new Robin, Tim Drake, handed him a controller. She smiled and made her way over as she passed Cassie asking Kori about her recent trip to space, her eyes were sparkling with wonder.


	5. The Stasis Chamber

The Stasis Chamber

It was almost three when Victor finally stood up from the couch, admitting defeat to Tim, as he tossed the controller. Raven had taken her normal place at the end of the couch. With a book in hand just like she used to, she took comfort in the Titan's presence, though she would never let anyone know. She looked up as she felt Vic's eyes on her and followed as he left the room. The Teen Titans were spread out all around the common area, lighting up every corner with the life it lacked all those years before. Cyborg had returned to the tower to mentor the new Titans that now inhabited it after the best run anyone could have had as the leader of Titans East, though he would never say that himself. He had gone craving a life away from old ties as the Titans team broke apart in more ways than can be fixed after Wally's death. Of course Raven had prolonged it but Vic had already set up a new team with a new Tower, which had no ties to his estranged father. He could finally be the leader he knew he could without Dick's clashing views and with Titans that never saw him as a scared former football player seeking acceptance. Raven thought he always appeared to be seeking something more, though it seemed that this is was a pattern that humans never failed to repeat, Vic made the world better because of this. As Raven crossed the kitchen she looked on at Cassie who was bent over the table trying to contain the odd concoction that Bart was making in a blur while she chucked a wooden spoon at Miguel who was heading to interrupt Connor and M'gann. Jaime chuckled at Miguel rubbing his head while he reached for the controller that Tim was holding up. Raven looked back at Tim who didn't bother to look away from Raven and Victor as they left.

Koriand'r was already outside as the two former Titans reached the open field, flying above them without giving anything a moments notice. The sun was shining bright with barely any clouds in the sky as it illuminated everywhere the Titans once fought, played and became a family. Raven felt oddly complete to be back there but with it came a wave of nostalgia that longed for something she could never get back so; she uncharacteristically broke the silence first.

"They remind me quite a bit of us"

"Yeah sometimes I feel like the little midgets have it easier y'know but other times I think they might have it harder"

"They came together like we did, didn't they? To stop being a shadow and face something greater."

"Yeah, but it's more complicated. I know we all came with daddy issues and shit but we never sought out a mentor and now look at us. Y'all are running around trying to be movie stars and fight all of space alone. That's crazy man. There was no way I was letting these fools split up earlier than we did. Imagine Bart unhinged."

"When-"

"When Wally died. I don't think he left Bart on the best terms but he's really grown up since. But Dick was really fucked up and Tim needed him even if he won't admit it. Remember the good old times when the devil was whispering in your ear?"

This earned a glare from Raven.

"Well, Jaime's bug back's been doing that non-stop so y'all would probably get along. "

"What's their story then?"

Raven and Victor turned towards the tower as he motioned to Tim Drake. Cassie was now dragging Tim away from the window where he was so blatantly regarding the two former Titans with crossed arms. Kori had gone back inside and stolen M'gann from Connor as the two made their way upstairs. Raven listened intently as Vic explained how this odd group of teen heroes came to be. He explained how just like with them, it was Robin that gathered the team who eventually grew into what they see before them in the tower.

Looking at Robin now, Raven was taken aback at how much he truly mirrored Dick's early days though Vic claimed that he is a much better detective than their friend was at that time. Tim had actually figured out both Batman and Nightwing's identity, taking on the job of Robin more for Bruce's sake than his own. Vic explained how he was torn because unlike Dick' he still had other parents but everything back in Gotham is so much worse than it was when the first Titans came together.

"You mean Batman's contingency plans?" Raven asked

"Yeah, the kid didn't do it, but it's still on him for not telling anyone anything"

"But I understand why it had to be done. You don't think he should have them?"

"Nah, I think we all get it, but you weren't working with him or Batman, it's different. What did I expect after his fling with Spoiler though right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, our man Dick was crushing on Kori before he took those dumb glasses off but he didn't start anything. But Tim though," Cyborg chuckled "Lil man was with spoiler without taking his damn mask of the whole time. And now she's pregnant but it's not even his kid!"

"Getting a little bored in this tower?"

"Hmm?"

"You're describing Tim's life as a reality show."

"Nah it's just this kids always got these inconceivable morals but I don't know, after everything that happened even before I got here, I don't think he's staying away from Gotham much longer."

M'gann had suddenly come outside to fetch Raven and Vic for an impromptu beach trip. Kori was the only one missing when they arrived, with no one knowing where she went, which was very unlike her but Raven decided not to pry. The former Titans had gotten so used to being alone it seems, that everyone had their secrets now. Miss Martian had already run into the water as she either proceeded to jump on Robin or was getting thrown off of him. Wonder Girl patted the brooding Superboy's shoulder as he looked on at the ocean before returning to the intense Frisbee game between her, Blue Beetle and Bunker. The was a blur shooting out of the water before Kid Flash started making an intricate sandcastle a little too close to Superboy. Suddenly Raven was in a psychic link with Miss Martian and Kid Flash as they devised a plan to pull a prank on Cyborg. In the blink of an eye, Bart had dug the sand around Vic out as Raven immediately floated herself out of the way. As soon as Bart stopped looking like a hurricane in the making and stepped onto the sand, Raven moved the mess he made in onto Vic, burying everything below his arms in the sand. Everyone had begun laughing at once.

"Haha very funny, you just started a war y'all can't end!"

"Why don't you try to get out first," Bart taunted before he once again dove into the water splashing M'gann in the process.

Victor turned to Raven who had sat down next to him. She looked down at him as she chuckled and propped herself up on her left hand, her right encircling her legs as she pulled them close to her chest.

"Y'know I can bust outta here and bury those little devils in the sand in a second right?"

"But getting them when they least expect it is more fun," Raven said thinking back to the time when the Titans got roped into Vic and Garfield's prank war, "besides, you never finished filling me in."

Victor sighed and threatened Bart once more before propping his head on his hand and continuing his tangent about the new Titans. He explained that Cassandra Sandsmark was the daughter of Zues and a Dr. Helena that Raven could only recall as the butt of Wally's joke about cougars. Though her family life was only half mundane, it was like the life that Donna thought was hers before the Titans unconventionally found out she was Diana's doppelgänger destined for a tragic future. This never stopped Donna from living the life she sought and the Titans were all the better for it. From the little Raven saw Cassie seemed to be the glue holding the group together, at least socially. In battle, however, Raven assumed Robin would be yelling commands just like her Robin once did. Victor made sure to mention that although she wouldn't admit it her family ties to both Zeus and Aries had become a more persistent weight on her shoulders. Raven only nodded and averted her gaze to Bart, trying to prolong this brief as much as she could before Vic tried to convince her to come back to this life.

Noticing where Raven was looking he moved onto say that Bart had earned the name Impulse from a disgruntled Batman, earning a small smile from Raven. She found a small victory in knowing that Bart taking this as his superhero name would have bothered Bruce. Raven found him partially brave and partially stupid for staying in this mess of a past but his childish vigour and drive to do the best he could be was certainly something the world needed right now. She felt a wave of anguish as Vic explained Bart's clones that he no longer used since the death of one did a number on him. As Raven looked onto the ocean she saw that Bart was swimming with his face turned away from M'gann and Tim as the water around them rippled. The way that Cyborg has been with them since she arrived, she didn't think they would hesitate to trust him but she was new and to Tim who was raised under Batman's morals and values, she was untrustworthy. Raven wasn't offended that they were eavesdropping on the conversation but instead, she was proud to see that they were doing exactly what she would have and doing it better too.

Victor, blind to the change of atmosphere amongst the group, continued on parading how strong these titans were. Raven listened to his tangent about the great Miguel Barragan and his success in finding Robin as Bunker. She had heard a great deal about his abilities from Roy who was convinced that everyone was overlooking him and had an eye-opening experience with his drunken personality courtesy of Starfire just yesterday. It was a high praise from Roy to be noticed at all while he battled his own demons after losing Wally, but Miguel seemed like he'd earn it. Although Kori had a track record of being too friendly, Raven hadn't hated Miguel by the end of the night and that was saying something. She let Vic continue to repeat everything she had already heard about the secretive Jaime Reyes because she missed the glint he got in his eyes when he spoke of something he was passionate about. Come to think of it, Vic had or at least tried to have this conversation with Raven in the past but she always shut it down. A part of her was scared that she would return to the life if reminded of it enough because truth be told she only left out of fear. And, like all of them, she loved the thrill of doing something that scares her.

Raven noted that Victor hadn't dug himself out of the sand the whole time and had probably noticed that Bart had heard what he said even if it wasn't to Raven's extent. She realized that she was stupid to try to cut off contact with all of them. She went from turning down the video calls to answering fewer phone calls until they all only gave her small updates through occasional texts. She was proud in a way only a little sister could be to see her older brother mentor a new generation to be better than them. So after his in-depth analysis about Connor's evolution she turned and asked the question he had been waiting for her to since he mentioned Tim.

"So earlier you said Robin and Spoil-"

"Yeah but screw that have you seen him and Cassie?"

"What?"

"Ok, ok but hear me out. Ever since he's been stressed about Gotham they've gotten real close right like When Harry Met Sally close and even today she spent less time consoling Connor and more time dragging Tim away from us. She can do so much more if she spends less time with a brooding boy, it's not like he's going to get the part of Edward Cullen anyway!"

"You're telling me there's finally a Robin that doesn't brood?"

"Ok maybe that's overkill but they're both born leaders. Now that's a power couple."

"So are you to say me and Robin were not the couple of power?" piped up a voice behind them.

Kori had finally decided to join them it seemed though it looked like she had fought with the wind flying to the beach, and the wind won. However, whatever she did put a genuine smile on her face that Raven hadn't seen since she came back. Raven decided to remain ignorant but Victor evidently didn't share this sympathy. He spun around as he shot out of the sand, showering Connor with it in the process. With a grunt, Connor took off his shirt before Bart bellowed thanks to Vic and pushed him into the water. Raven turned around to face her friends.

"And where have you been?"

"Oh, I was saying I must reunite with everyone wasn't I Raven? So I went to see Garfield!"

"Damn, no wonder you look like you've been in a fight, you flew to Hollywood and back?"

At this Kori looked up and Raven chimed in.

"Kori, I told you I would drive you tomorrow after I found out his address-"

"Hold up, you've never been to Green Bean's place?"

Thankfully Kori turned the conversation back to her visit.

"That is no longer a problem for he was giving me a tour which is why I had disappeared for so long. See I had wanted to surprise our friend and he was on set of...uhm-"

"Whatever. While you were gone Vic was telling me his matchmaking plans," Raven interrupted.

"Oh right I can't believe I forgot! So something happened between M'gann and Connor that I didn't even know about until Lagoon Boy from my old team started kissing my ass to get me to set him up with her. I mean I'm milking it the best I can but really all Connor has to say is one of those superman lines like you're my Kryptonite and she'll be back. Do you know how many time's I've used that?"

"And how many times have you been shot down Tin Can?"

Garfield. Raven wasn't expecting to see him any time soon since her plan was to drop Kori off and make her excuse to go home. She kept up with his work, of course, as she did with all the others but seeing him in person was just different. He seemed taller, healthier, and like he changed so much but stayed exactly as he was all the same. As Vic turned to face the intruding voice, Garfield's eyes fell on Raven and he mirrored her surprise.

"Hey, Raven didn't know you were here."

"Hi."

"Grass Stain! Guess I only needed Kori to surprise you to get a visit again."

"Actually I didn't know Kori was back until-"

"Until I surprised you at work today!" Kori chimed in.

"Well, you guys can come to set with me tomorrow if that's what-"

"Oh yes, I have forgotten to tell our friends of your invitation! Now come you did not finish that story that you were telling me before," Kori said as she led a confused Garfield away from Raven and Vic.

"Did that seem weird to you?" Vic asked Raven as she led him back to the tower, opposite to where Kori was walking.

She snuck a glance back at Garfield who was now talking excitedly as Kori laughed. He was the only one that she didn't have to slowly stop answering in order to get the occasional text because he was the only one that never made the first call.

It was getting late as the Teen Titans were either sparing with each other or going over the details for some ongoing mission. Victor had demanded the girls stay with them since Garfield was too which ultimately confined Raven to a guest room that she had never been in of all the years she lived in that tower. Perturbed by the lack of words exchanged between her and the usually talkative BeastBoy, Raven headed to Victor's quarters to excuse her self from their plans to visit his set tomorrow. Her quick rap on the door received an absent-minded 'busy' to which she just replied saying fine getting ready to walk away. The doors opened at once.

"My bad thought you were one of the kids. What's up?"

Vic was frantically typing away at his desk as files opened and closed swiftly without turning to look at Raven. On the upper right corner was a diagram of a stasis chamber with instructions of enabling and disabling it and an open call log below it displayed the recent brief calls from Gotham's notorious prison. Just as she was about to ask what he was working on, there was an abrupt ring and in an instant, Dick had taken up the entire screen.

"_So another Titans team and you still can't keep Plasmus-Raven?"_

"Yeah, yeah and Kori and Gar are upstairs. What a reunion! But let's focus on our escaped prisoner for once."

"_Well there's not much to say, no one else was broken out and the employee that busted him out was engulfed by him before he left._"

"Engulfed?"

"_Barbra helped_"

"'Course she did but the camera he knocked out-"

"_Slade's still in his cell and so is Joker-_"

"And you're sure it's not another Amanda Waller job?"

"_Yeah,_ _Plasmus goop isn't her style,"_ Dick replied shutting down Vic's questions,_ "So what's with the reunion Raven?_"

"Speaking of, what's with you avoiding adult conversations," Raven said joining Vic in front of the screen.

"Yeah, I haven't had any of those since y'all showed up. How did we end up agreeing to go to set with Gar again?"

"_Playing hooky already Cy? Do you even do anything there?_"

"Why don't you ask Tim?"

"Actually about tomorrow," Raven interjected, "I-"

"_I texted Raven about a last-minute mission before this stupid Plamus shit. So you and Kori have fun._"

"So Kori..."

Raven left the room as the boys continued to squabble about something insignificant. Outside the doorway of her makeshift guest room, her screen lit up with a text from Dick saying you're welcome. Seconds later he sent another text stating that he will now be expecting her in Gotham tomorrow morning. Contemplating whether a trip to Gotham was better or worse than visiting Garfield's set, she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.


	6. Frogs

Frogs

Heading to Gotham was definitely better than staying. It was the second night in a row where Raven was craving more sleep the minute she got up. However this time it wasn't the blaring sun that interrupted her sleep but the voices of Connor and M'gann, which grew increasingly louder outside her window. She took in the vacant room before her half expecting to be back in that downtown alley as she tried to clear her blur sleep-filled mind. As she opened her eyes she saw that there was only a plain dresser with a mirror propped up over it, with no life to the room. The window beside her bed was draped with blackout curtains that only let the sunlight slip through a slim slit and cast a yellow line onto the room door. Raven stood up and hesitated before deciding not to open the curtains and making her way across the room. She was slightly confused when she woke up with such strong emotions hitting her relentlessly right outside her room and even now she could hear their fight so clearly. She wondered why M'gann the telepath or even Connor with his super-hearing didn't realize how public they were being with their issue. Evidently, they didn't care.

"What part of space don't you understand?" Connor bellowed sounding close enough to be right above Raven's window.

"But how can I fix it if we don't-" M'gann's voice followed in an almost pleading tone.

"You can't. Now leave it alone."

"So what? I just wait around until you forgive me, _if_ you forgive me? I know I messed up but I'm trying to make it right and you know what? I'm tired. I'm done. You think I ended us but you're the one that's choosing to let it end. I was the only one trying from the beginning so don't hold your head so high you, you toddler!"

Toddler. Now that's new Raven thought as she made her way to the bathroom just as Cassie ran out of it. She longed for the night to come so she could head home to her quiet, solitary room without the scatter minds of these teens. Everyone, apart from Cassie and M'gann, was already in the kitchen having breakfast when she arrived. The dining table was scattered with various dishes while the kitchen sink to her right temporarily housed the towering array of dirty dishes. Raven walked past them reminiscing the fights over whose turn it was to do the dishes amongst other chores when she lived in the tower. The familiar homely aroma of Garfield's signature tofu breakfast burritos wafted towards her. Though she would never tell a soul for as long she lived, she craved it once when she was living on her own and tried to make it her self. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get it quite right and she never tried to make it again out of spite, a little annoyed that even all the way in Hollywood Beast Boy was riling her up. The kitchen was loud and bright in the best way with three different conversations happening at once but she simply reeled in her emphatic abilities the best she could to have a calm breakfast at the table. Vic held up a cup of jasmine green tea that she took before seating herself beside Kori. Garfield seemed to hold the group's attention as he was describing some hilarious moment on set only stopping for a second to acknowledge her presence before continuing to entertain the Teen Titans. Cassie was most interested about his female costar but Garfield's eyes incontestably lit up when he began talking about a new script he wanted to play the lead in. She didn't know if the others could tell but she certainly noticed that Garfield was making an effort not to address her. After breakfast, the three former Titans got into the T-Car after a long fight that Kori ultimately won for shotgun. Raven waved goodbye to them before getting into her own car and drowning out her worries with a little music.

Before long she had made it to Gotham but she didn't even have to go up to Wayne Manor since on the drive there she saw a black-haired man running away from his ginger friend as he wagged his friend's hat triumphantly in the air. Both boys turned their heads towards Raven's car as she honked before pulling up to the curb to park. Dick leaned over the parking meter as he caught his breath with a playful glint in his eyes that made him look like a kid let loose in an amusement park. Roy, on the other hand, was quite disgruntled and hastily began to fix his hair using the unconventional reflection from Raven's tinted windows. She was curious as she got out since she couldn't recall Roy ever owning a baseball hat but he also sported new black shades that clashed with his hipster casual outfit as if he was running away from paparazzi. As Raven stepped out, after a brief moment of confusion, Roy snatched his hat out of Dick's hand and walked towards Raven pulling her into a quick hug.

"So the first place I see you at after all these years is Gotham?"

"Just avoiding Gar's set tour."

"So I didn't miss much when I went undercover huh?"

Dick hit the edge of Roy's baseball hat and grinned as his friend took it off to obsessively fix his hair once more.

"Yeah and right after going undercover you came straight to Gotham too. What can I say Raven, all the redheads love me."

"Sure," Raven smirked.

"Actually Dick, I came for the clubs, not much of an exciting nightlife scene where I was. What was your favourite again...Frogs?"

Dick sent his two old friends a glare before he moved in front of them and lead the two into a curious, almost run-down coffee shop. As they waited for their orders Roy, determined to get Dick back for stealing his hat, was already going through a play by play of the night the Titans had visited Frogs so many years ago.

* * *

It was a quiet Friday evening when Nightwing excused himself for the night to return to Gotham with no one other than Kori batting an eye at this news. It was his first time spending the night in civvies with Bruce after their fallout since he stopped being Robin but Kori seemed more nervous than Dick. The night before this the Titans nearly blew up an entire warehouse due to Dick's ongoing mission to take down Scarapelli and were now all lounging around the common area. Raven was sure they were closing in and expected the night to be quiet as the mob recuperated. Wally West ran in just minutes after Dick left yelling at everyone to cancel their plans for the night. One of Scarapelli's hired assassins, an Asian girl with a poisonous clawed outfit who outsmarted Roy, had injured Wally and he was supposed to be resting in the infirmary. Raven had tried to heal him the night before and was still a little drained from the ordeal though the mischievous look on Wally's face seemed to promise another eventful night.

"Nah, y'all are not blowing up another warehouse tonight. Go back and rest wing-head." Vic said, annoyed that Garfield had paused the game.

"Tin can's right 'cause we're going to Gotham instead!"

"Jealous that Bat Daddy's stealing your boyfriend?" Garfield smirked.

"No cause Bat Daddy's buying us all booze tonight," Wally claimed as everyone considered whether he had an unchecked concussion or not, "That's right kids, it's an open bar at their PUBLIC charity event. It's an all-black dress code though 'cause some symbolism or whatever so get dressed!"

Wally was gone in a blur as the team began to come around to the idea. By the time everyone left to get dressed, the girls decided that they would be checking out the club Frogs first before joining the boys at Apartment 25. Donna and Artemis had come in to raid Raven's closet for a black dress since they were the ones who would be attending the banquet hall. In the end, her room was littered with everyone's makeup and Kori had also taken Raven's mid-length strapless dress, though with her height it looked like a mini dress. There was a loud impatient rap at the door as Raven opened it to find all the boys looking annoyed before they began gaping at everyone in the room. She was quite surprised herself at how dapper her sometimes toddler-like teammates looked in their formal attire that had most likely never seen the light of day. Though Vic and Garfield simply had on button-up shirts, Roy and Wally sported black button-up shirts with crisp ties. They already held glasses of whiskey on the rocks in their hands though Wally's almost dropped as his eyes fell on Artemis.

"Shut your mouth Wally, you're drooling," Artemis said as she shut Raven's door behind her.

"Not as hard as Robin Hood was when he saw Cheshire yesterday" Vic piped in.

"Shut up Rust Pot, Grass Stain's the one who flew into a pole when that blond girl showed up during that mission in LA." Roy retorted.

"That blond girl's a movie star, not an assassin!"

Raven was waiting in the lobby with the others for Donna, Artemis, Wally and Roy. Men and women dressed in lavish black outfits had walked past them all without giving a moments notice acting as though they owned the place. They had their own little conversations, which mostly consisted of gossip about who is with whom or which family just went bankrupt. Raven was in awe when she first entered the lobby. It was a big square with stairs at one end leading to the ballroom and floor to ceiling windows at the other. The concierge's desk was attended by a ginger-haired boy who seemed to regret his life choices as he watched the clock tick away slowly. Raven crossed the floor while the crystal chandelier's light danced over her skin as she walked towards Kori who kept straining her head to look in when the door opened. She hadn't quite reached her when Artemis and Donna ran out with a couple of bottles in hand. Too impatient to wait for the boys, the girls got into their car and headed to Frogs. Raven, who could never bring herself to fully relinquish control in any matter, listened to the girls try to convince her until she agreed to loosen up for once. Donna promised to be the stand-in mom for the night as she thrust a white bottled into Raven's hand. She pulled out a can of pop as Raven tentatively put the bottle to her lips.

"Drink half or you're not getting any chasers tonight"

Raven chugged a little more than half, determined to get the hard part of the night over with before grabbing the can out of Donna's hand. As they got closer to the club, the traffic got slower as the lights seem to blur and twinkle before Raven's eyes. In her euphoric state, Raven decided not to drink anything more but as the events of the night unfolded she ended up doing the exact opposite. As the girls entered, they realized it was nothing special but a club that just became popular by chance. They crossed the wooden floor, slipping through dancing bodies of everyone who wanted a memorable night to forget the next morning. It was the perfect place for the Titans to get lost in as the dark room encompassed them with music blasting loud enough to drown out any lucid thought. There were couples looking into each other's eyes like they have known each other for years instead of minutes, girls dancing to forget their worries and boys waiting by the bar to buy someone new a drink. As soon as they reached the bar, Kori had pushed past them all and sat on the stool just to tell the bartender that she is so pretty. The girl who looked caught off guard at first had instantly warmed up to Kori and got the girls a round of shots for free. With no excuse to give Raven clinked her glass with the others and downed it before her eyes went wide as she tasted tequila. Everything after that was a rapturous blur because even with meditating the following day to clear her thoughts, she could only remember being wholly content. In the Titans before her, she had found a family that made her feel safe enough to let loose in a place where she wanted so badly to act mundane; like she had no responsibilities and her actions that night would have no repercussions tomorrow. So she danced like she was the best in the room, paying no mind to the gaping boys and occasionally leaning on Donna as she lost balance.

It wasn't really the night, but the morning after that Raven had been regretting for years but Roy didn't know she remembered any of it and she was planning on keeping it that way. Dick also wasn't too happy that morning when he showed up at the tower irate and ready to kill Roy and Wally. Apparently, the boys were also as impatient as the girls had been and not long after the girls left, Beast Boy and Cyborg had decided to make a guest appearance at the event. They had all abused the free bar until Wally and Roy kept messing up Dick's business conversations with anecdotes about him taking after Bruce's playboy mannerisms. Meanwhile, Garfield and Vic had snuck into the kitchen and eaten all the appetizers before they had been brought out before hacking into the DJ's equipment to change the music. When Vic started playing Taylor Swift in his drunken demeanour, Garfield had started wrestling him for the controls which resulted in the two breaking the podium. While this was happening, Roy trying to prove he wasn't into Cheshire had started to flirt with and actually hooked up with two girls who turned out to be cousins. As the two girls were walking towards Roy to ruin him in their high-class way, one of their dads' with an unchecked anger issue was informed about the red-head who was messing around with his daughter and lunged at Wally instead. Naturally, Wally had moved out of the way letting the businessman fall into a startled waiter that threw her champaign flutes into the electric fireplace. Dick was the one who rounded and stuffed all the boys into the T-car to send them home without knowing that Cyborg changed the GPS destination to where the girls were, Frogs.

* * *

The waiter had come and gone, brought out their order and even gave them a second round of drinks before they asked for the bill. It was the first time Dick and Raven had seen Roy since he went undercover and they all had a good time talking about everything a nothing. The waiter had lingered impatiently as three argued about who would pay before Dick gave him a $50 and told him to keep the change. Raven relished in listening to the boys talk about everything she's missed so excitedly and in return filling them in on all the favourite moments in her life since. They all took in each word like cold lemonade on a hot summers day as they made up for lost time of making fun of one another. Raven received the text from Connor as the three finally left the coffee shop.

_Almost 10 reported missing persons since last 2 weeks dt_

_2 acc found dead carried meta gene_

_Any ideas?_

Raven replied that she would meet him back at the tower soon with more information before offering Dick a ride back to Wayne Manor. Roy had decided to tag along as Raven explained what she and Connor found downtown the other night.

"So I know everyone's pissed about the contingency plans," Raven said risking a glance at Dick who had immediately looked tired as if he's been having this conversation for years, "but Tim has his own files like that too right?"

"Just because we work under him doesn't-"

"No, I mean remember how you knew about Artemis before we did? I'm not saying it's exactly like Batman's but I think what happened at Pride has something to do with the current Titans"

When the three had reached the bat cave, Dick called Tim on his way to the big monitors. Raven turned to Roy who was already toying around with a spare batarang.

"Can't he just get into Tim's files himself?"

"Yeah but last time Tim found out Dick did that, he locked him out of his own files. Every time he fucked up trying to hack into his own shit, Tim somehow set up his phone to send a fake booty call text. Even Bruce got one. Tim's actually fucking hilarious"

"Oh I-"

"Why are you so uptight about him finding out if it has something to do with his team anyway?"

Dick called the two over before Raven had to reply. Raven stood behind Dick clutching his chair as he took her through the files while Roy added his unnecessary comments about the team. The screen was so bold in the dimly lit room that flashes of colour reflected off of Ravens face as she tried to comprehend how any one of these teens would be linked to a mass murderer that had come out of nowhere. A call from Barbara took Dick out of the room as Raven moved into the chair to keep looking.

"So why do we think this has anything to do with the kids?" Roy asked.

"I know humans aren't thrilled about meta-humans but whoever's doing this is getting to them before the genes are exposed. And what I felt, it was something similar to Trigon but I also felt it in the house this morning."

"What if the person tested them?"

"Maybe" Raven shrugged determined to find something hidden amongst the endless files.

"Wait did you mean like Trigon as in I'm going to kill everything or I'm immortal?"

"Not kill, more a distinct determination for destruction but there was also this I guess otherworldly powerful presence "

"So godly power?"

"I guess but-"

"But not entirely. Like Cassandra?"

Raven began an anxious search through Cassie's files as Dick returned trying to grasp what the two Titans had found with the few comments provided by Roy. With Dick's insights on Ares's interactions with Wonder Woman, the three had finally decided that out of all the team members, Cassie was most likely to be the target but they had yet to found out how even if Ares would play into it. When the three left the cave the sun began to lower as whispers of colours peaked through the blue. Raven's SUV shone its darkness out as the sun basked the path the three took wordlessly while the silent wind danced in their hair. Dick was silent as they all walked out until they reached Raven's car.

"Hey guys I'd go with you but Gotham-"

"It's cool, I'll drive-" Roy smiled leaning around Raven to grab the keys.

"Nope," Raven said as she nodded bye to Dick and got into her driver's seat.


	7. Spot

Spot

Raven and Roy had driven back to the Tower trying to decipher where and how they would finally meet this mysterious godly presence no avail. The two had ultimately decided that they would talk to Cassie first but couldn't quite agree on how to approach her. They had reached the tower too soon as Raven spotted a blur of fiery red leave the top floor from the balcony right when she parked. Kori had paused just a second when she saw Raven's passenger door open before speeding up with a big smile on her face. She dove right into Roy, almost knocking him off his feet, and told him how great it was to see him as he hugged her back just as fiercely. Raven leaned back on her SUV smiling as she watched Kori talk excitedly trying to memorize every inch of Roy she missed and it seemed as though he was doing the same. Maybe Kori was right to come back, Raven knew the Titans were always happier when she was around with her infectious and unrelenting exuberance. Suddenly she grabbed Raven's hand and pulled the two into the tower promising the best surprise either would ever get.

Raven looked down at the slender Dalmatian looking back up at her from the kitchen floor. It looked as bored to be there as Tim was while he listened to whatever Connor was animatedly talking about at the kitchen counter. The dog didn't even wag its tail as it sat watching everyone in the room as if it were scouting out what it was up against. As Raven looked up she saw Kori regard her expectantly while Roy looked quite amused. Behind her, she heard Cyborg trying to explain to the teenagers about how dogs are a big responsibility as if they have never carried the weight of the world on their shoulders. However, it was quite comical how these kids that can save the world would probably struggle to take care of this dog when the time came.

"M'gann suggested we call him Spot," Kori said as if this had changed her world forever "So that is his name now, Spot! Isn't it wonderful friend?"

"That's nice Kori," Raven said as she watched Kori bend down and pet the dog as she talked to it like a baby, "did you see Cassie anywhere?"

"Oh, I believe she has retired to her room but she agreed to call him Spot as well!"

"C'mon Kori be an adult. Even we didn't have a dog," Cyborg said.

"Well, that is not an entire truth friend."

"Hey!" came Garfield's voice behind Raven.

Raven headed towards the elevator, not bothering to tell Roy since he was busy catching up with Garfield. The two seemed so relaxed with each other standing in the room that it almost looked like Raven caught a glimpse into the past. However there was a change in Roy, he seemed older like he has been places and done some of the hardest things. The baseball cap was new and juvenile but he also seemed tougher, more rough around the edges. Garfield on the other hand finally learned how to make his hair look like he spent more than a few seconds on it but even he had gotten buffer despite retiring from the Titans around the same time she did. When she reached the corridor Raven could feel the weight of Cassie's heavy emotions as she stopped before the door and contemplated even knocking. Before she could decide, the door opened and Cassie almost ran into her.

"Oh sorry," Cassie said, "I was just about to go see M'gann. Is everything ok?"

"Actually I was hoping to talk to you about something. May I?"

Raven motioned towards Cassie's bed as the two girls walked into her room and sat down as moments of silence ticked past. Raven saw that her room was very kempt but also had a lot of personality. Her eyes finally landed on the many photos of Cassie with the Teen Titans that decorated her vanity, a picture of her and Donna was also there right below one with her and Dianna. Raven began explaining what she and Connor had found downtown, the reports of missing persons and the expectation of all of them to have been carrying the Metagene. Raven took a deep breath before turning to Cassie who now looked very concerned.

"You think this has something to do with me? Why?"

"I know I haven't been here for long but I had done what your team is doing for a long time with Vic. And I've learned a lot about my abilities through this but how it works still surprises me sometimes."

"Ok..."

"I felt an unearthly presence when the incident occurred downtown. And although I've kept my abilities reined in while staying in your home, I felt it this morning when I woke up. I thought it was from Connor or M'gann arguing outside but you were using the bathroom beside the guest room weren't you?"

"Yes but what? Do you think I'm murdering those kids? If this about some mole in the group, it's not any of us, we've already been through that"

"As have I and that's not what I am implying. I know what it's like to have a powerful ancestry you never asked for, that you have no control over...When Trigon first started contacting me, when it was time for me to be the portal, he would sometimes appear in the mirrors. I just-"

"Look I have it under control ok-"

"It's alright if you don't want to discuss this with me. But you have friends who would want to know. And telling them would make you stronger not week no matter how degrading it feels to talk about it. Asking my friends for help is what helped defeat Trigon in the end."

"Yeah but every now and then Raven still needs a push to talk" came a voice from the doorway.

Roy had made it upstairs and was now leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed wearing a know-it-all smirk on his face.

"Boy wonder's asking if you're coming to walk the dog"

Roy motioned towards the hall as Cassie excused herself and left the room. Raven also got up as she made her way over to Roy and raised an eyebrow.

"Tim wants to walk the dog?"

"No but she's going to phrase it like a question and he'll probably say yes after the spooked look she left this room with. They probably won't figure it out before he finds out how everything connects to Cassie"

"Yeah it seems I still can't talk to kids without having that effect but good to know your conniving schemes haven't changed either"

"Speaking of, your welcome for keeping a very angry Superboy in the loop, you know if you keep excluding the kids they're just going to think you don't believe they're strong enough to handle it right? We don't need more teens blowing up warehouses to prove the adults wrong."

"We caught Scarapelli didn't we," Raven countered as they made their way to the end of the corridor, "But I guess I have become a bit too comfortable with only having to keep myself in the loop. Besides Tim is probably going to try to update the rest of the team before us."

"See this is why we have to stop acting like the Justice League did with us."

"Yeah well that's Vic's job isn't it?"

"Oh yeah why'd you skip Gar's field trip?"

"Just didn't feel up to it"

"Huh"

"What?"

"I don't know I guess I expected you two to stay in touch a lot more than you actually did"

"We all have that one person in the group that we stopped talking to though"

"Yeah"

Raven felt a twist in her stomach for even bringing Donna up but she didn't want to keep talking about it. She knew that if Roy tried hard enough he would figure out what happened. She and Dick had a don't-ask-unless-I-bring-it-up understanding and even with that, she feared he knew too much. Raven thought back to that bittersweet memory that caused all of this. If Vic hadn't taken the boys to Frogs that night, Garfield wouldn't have had to drive her home and none of this would have happened she decided as the two headed back to the common room.

* * *

Raven always hated thinking back on her nights of tipsy decisions. After the girls retired from the dance floor that night questioning what was taking the boys so long, Artemis suggested a drinking game of truth or dare. At one point Kori had got up on a table to dance while dodging the security guard who tried to help her down. After this, Donna was pretending to be a bartender and gave out some very poorly made drinks to many that didn't even notice. It was a wonder how they managed to not get kicked out. When it was Artemis's turn she told Raven to hook up with someone with a blue shirt or take another shot. Raven knew she was referring to the guy who had tried to dance with her early that night, the only man who was dressed quite nice and listened when she said no. He was now at the bar chatting up a petite blond who swivelled around in the stool beside him. Going up to him now would only ruin his chances for the night, Raven thought, since she was never going to take him home. But as she turned around to see Artemis shaking a glass of whisky, Raven walked towards him with purpose. As she reached the bar she simple took his hand without giving him or the blond a second glance.

"Let's have that dance now."

With her back to his chest, she moved to the music as he moved perfectly with her, his hand snaking past her waist and onto her stomach. The room seemed to blur as Raven caught a glimpse of the girls wearing taunting smiles and felt him move closer. She didn't know his name and she didn't care. There was a moment of excitement as something unexplored enticed her to let go of that control. She jumped into the blissful ignorance of shots and the unknown, to rebel against responsibility and sanity. The next time she opened her eyes and came to her senses, her lips were entrapped in his, her arm draped around his neck as his arms held her close. She felt a jolt of excitement laced with confusion as she pulled away just as the man who had held her lips with his mere moments before was forcefully lifted off the ground. Standing in front of Raven was Cyborg who was gripping the baffled man by the arms as he held him inches off the ground.

"Get ya nasty hands off you midget" Vic had slurred before putting him back down.

The boys had finally reached Frogs only to get everyone kicked out. When everyone in the club began to recognize Cyborg the Titans rushed out and got into their cars. Raven had ended up in the front seat and beside her sat Garfield after he made Donna go to the back. They were now on the highway where cars were sparse in the silent night. It was a calm they didn't often get to enjoy, something they may one day realize to have taken for granted but this very night was to forget the reality of the serious nights before. Raven listened to the quiet snores behind her as the streetlights made patterns over her thighs. Garfield had turned on his music as soon as he got into the car but turned it down as the others began to sleep. The night looked so still ahead of them as Raven saw Artemis pulling ahead of their black Tesla in the T-car. Garfield turned towards her after readjusting the a.c settings.

"You can sleep too. I'll wake you up when we're there."

"No, I'm fine," Raven replied sounding sleepier than she intended.

"Ok, so what was that back there?"

"Hmm?"

"You with your tongue down that random guy's throat? Didn't take you for a player Rae"

"I was trying to win and there was no tongue."

"Well I guess it's good that Cy was there to stop you guys from doing something dumb"

"Vic was doing something dumb"

"Come on Kori was already running away from security when we got there and you were way out of his league. Besides apart from that emo dude from Blackfire's rave thing, you don't leave with randoms like that"

"And you do?"

"I have morals but what can I say? Chicks love the green look"

"Whatever pea brain" Raven scoffed before turning up the music and looking back at the endless highway.

When they had reached the Tower, Donna woke up a little distraught before reminding Raven to hydrate despite struggling to stay awake herself. However as soon as they reached the top, everyone had wordlessly split up and went into their rooms to sleep the night off. Garfield had heard this and grabbed a water bottle to force Raven to finish drinking it on the way to her room. As she reached her room she stumbled inside, annoyed the Garfield was currently the voice of reason and began to fight off her dress. She was stripped down in her black bra and underwear, watching the moonlit sky illuminate her hard-to-remove heels when she heard a gasp.

"Shit," Garfield huffed out before adding "I mean I just came to leave this nightstand on your water bottle-I mean-"

"Ok," Raven said without a thought before falling onto the bed "turn up the heater it's cold"

"That's 'cause you're supposed to be _under_ the covers," Garfield said as he finally placed the water bottle down.

When he was just met with a grunt of protest from Raven, he made his way over to her bed as he took off her heels. He then walked around and lifted her off the covers before tucking her in. She finally felt so relaxed and safe in her soft bed that was like a floating cloud while getting tucked in by Garfield. The jittery good feeling of the night was long gone, as she now felt too tired to really think about anything. As he shifted away from her, she reached out and took his hand surprising them both.

"Stay," she whispered barely opening her eyes, "sometimes I fall asleep before I can think so the nightmares don't come."

There was a ruffle of sheets before the other side of the bed slanted and Raven turned towards it still refusing to open her eyes and acknowledge what she was saying.

"You probably won't remember this tomorrow but you're easier to talk to drunk. I know we aren't great friends since my humour's too advanced that you find it annoying but you're kinda cute and really funny angry and for what it's worth as long as we're all together you're nightmares will stay as just nightmares I promise"

"Shh I'm sleeping but stop being dumb. You know you're one of my closest friends, you are a nuisance but sometimes I enjoy tolerating it"

"You actually think that? I knew-"

"Ok let's not get carried away, being Trigon's daughter gives me limited options concerning friends so can you be useful and turn into a bear or something softer?"

"Whatever you want Rae" Garfield chuckled shifting closer.

Raven was slowly drifting into consciousness as she strained to hear any movement outside her door. It was quiet except she thought she heard someone else breathing, maybe Kori had crashed in her bed after fighting with Dick again. Surprised that she slept well with someone else in her bed for the first time she finally opened her eyes to find not orange but a green arm holding her tight. She opened her mouth to yell at Garfield but all that came out was a croak. Raven turned her head to see the water bottle on her nightstand as the events of the night before came flooding back to her. With dread, she abruptly looked under the covers to see she was only wearing a bra and underwear and was about to push Garfield off before she realized that he was sleeping on top of the covers. She looked up to see that his head was still leaning against the headboard as if he had fallen asleep sitting up though he was much closer to her now. He must have gotten cold because he had pulled as much of the covers as he could to make a loop around his feet. It was strange she thought, as she came to her senses, how she felt like she belonged there with him as some burning desire lit up Raven like a fire that she never even knew she could possess. He was familiar but in a whole new way that made her feel uneasy for wanting to stay there for a little longer. Raven drew in a breath as she watched the light filter through her blinds to highlight the intricate details in his face and she realized that although he was the one who was always cracking jokes she had never seen him as relaxed as he was now. She had never seen him in the morning either as she noticed a small five o clock shadow framing his face, which she found quite entrancing with his bed head. Despite that threat of an arising headache due to her vacuous drinking the night before, she felt very well rested and comforted being in his arms after a nightmare free sleep. She had no time to think about what this meant though because she heard the door to her room open, as something seemed to jerk Garfield awake. She quickly shut her eyes pretending to sleep. She heard a grunt as Garfield turned more into her before sitting up abruptly as he gasped saying her name.

"The fuck?" came a voice from the door that Raven assumed to be Roy.

"Shit I just- did you throw an arrow at me?"

"Is Raven still asleep?" came Cyborg's voice, which seemed to be getting closer with every word.

Raven felt Garfield stiffen, as there was a creek at the door and Vic's voice threatened him in barely a whisper.

"Get your damn grass stain ass out right now or I'm gonna beat ya ass to China! I can't f- like Dick and Kori aren't enough"

Raven felt Garfield quickly move away as the harsh sunlight hit her face making the darkness tint red before she heard him shut the blinds.

"Cy it's not what it looks like-"

"Looks like he's got last nights clothes on and is that a dress on the floor?" came Roy's smug voice.

"Out!"

"I fell asleep," Garfield said before the door shut and Raven herd the boys walk away from the door "Donna was supposed to take care of her but..."

* * *

Raven was sitting in the kitchen when Vic walked in interrupting her thoughts. It had been many years since they caught Garfield in her room and no one brought it up to her, which meant that no one thought she knew and no one thought anything would come of it. Vic who was walking around looking annoyed finally noticed Raven.

"Did you see that damn dog? These kids still didn't feed it."

"So you're keeping him?" Raven smirked.

"Stop smiling and go look upstairs for me before it dies"

Garfield ran past her just as she got up to help her friend who seemed like an overworked single father looking for the family dog. She heard him reach the door as she placed her hand on the railing before climbing the stairs.

"Vic, they changed the schedule but I'll come back here when we're done shooting say bye to Spot for me!"

"Sure if these midgets don't starve it to death man"

She kept going up the steps hoping to bump into Roy or Kori. Raven was planning on driving back home in an hour, craving that full night of sleep she had been neglected since Kori's arrival and she needed to tell someone who didn't own the vacant guest bedrooms in the Tower.


	8. Suicidal Bravery

Suicidal Bravery

Raven woke up to the sound of her phone going off with an endless array of text alerts. She was finally rolling over in her own bed tucked away at the quiet house she loved but she was once again woken up too early. She looked at the phone to see that it was only 4:30 am. Before she could read the texts that took over her lock screen a new number called and she reluctantly answered.

"Hello" Raven grunted turning onto her back and rubbing her eyes.

"I need a favour" Roy said on the other end

"It's 4 in the morning"

"We kind of need a ride back to the Tower"

"We?"

After Raven had left earlier that night, the others split up to go on their own missions. Kori was heading back to Gotham with Roy while Vic had taken Bart, M'gann, Jamie and Miguel on some recon mission. Tim announced he was going back to Gotham earlier that night to which Conner decided he would tag along for. Cassie also went with Tim since they stuck close together after walking the dog courtesy of Roy. When Raven pulled into the edge of Gotham to see three idiots waving at her instead of the four she expected she felt a little more awake with concern than the drive there. Roy was filling her in as he sat in the front seat while Tim and Cassie sat silently in the back.

"...So he just left with the sphere, Tim couldn't go grab anything from the Batcave and miss morality wouldn't let us borrow a car"

"You mean steal," Cassie added from the back, "sorry you had to pick us up Raven but I think we figured out why all those murders were happening."

"I'm glad-"

"Why is Superboy's toy still floating in the sky?" Roy cut in.

Raven barely parked before everyone was out of the car and running to the Tower.

"So I'm guessing this isn't just another hormonal teen acting out movie moment?" Roy said beside her.

"They would know," she said before taking Roys hand and stepping into the portal.

Wonder girl was right outside on the balcony with Robin in tow when they reached the top floor. All the doors were closed except for Superboy's. As they started walking towards it Raven heard some heavy breathing and a small crash before Wonder girl disappeared into the darkness of his room. There was a moment's pause before she was thrown out as the doorframe creaked and bent to let out a very deranged, giant dog. Its heavy coat was a blur of black and white that occasionally blended into grey as it wrinkled around the forehead giving the mutt a pug-ish look. The dog towered over Wonder girl as it snarled through its clenched jaw. Two sharp fangs were protruding menacingly through its bottom lip.

"Is that Spot?" Tim asked

"Never liked that furball," Roy said as he shot an arrow at the side of its head.

With that the beast turned around glaring its glowing red eyes at Raven, Robin and Arsenal, slobbering through it's shut jaw as it made its way to them. Wonder girl took this moment to run into the room while Raven also stepped into her black door of energy and appeared at her side. She turned toward the light switch before realizing that the dog had broken the light fixture that now hung lower with wires coming out of the ceiling. The bed was still made but the dresser was flipped down and the nightstand beside it was broken, split wooden pieces littering the floor. Superboy lay unconscious on the carpet beside his bed. His shirt was torn but aside from a cut on his forehead, Raven couldn't see anything else severely injured.

"He's out cold but I should check for internal bleeding."

"I'll do it, I can take him to the infirmary" Wonder girl said not meeting Raven's eyes as she took Connor's drooped arm.

She sounded so determined that Raven didn't bother to mention she could do it a lot quicker. She simply nodded and walked her to the window so the two could leave without grabbing the drooling mutt's attention. As she stepped out from the room she found the two boys struggling to keep the beast from moving back into the room, as its eyes landed on Raven. However, before anyone could react the elevator door opened as Beast Boy stepped out with his eyes glued to his phone.

"Yo, why's Superboy's pet rock stil-"

He finally looked up to see the beast snap it's head towards him as it snarled at the new intruder. Arsenal quickly shot his last arrow into the wall beside the mutt, blowing up a poorly hung up picture of the Teen Titans as the debris forced the mutt to step backwards. Instantly he then took out a gun, which Raven was surprised to see, before firing a ray of bullets that only angered the animal further. Robin jumped at the chance to mount the beast while it was distracted by Arsenal as he took out his grappling hook and swung himself onto it's back. He then tried to knock it out with his bo to no avail before being thrown off as the dog arched it's back and shook irritated. Beast Boy had turned into a big green gorilla that cushioned Robin's fall before morphing into a bull and running headfirst into the beast. The dog merely kicked him away still determined to get a piece of Raven. She instantly locked eyes with it before her soul-self took form. The crow-like shadow shot towards the dog, only looming over it for a second before encompassing it in darkness. Raven grunted under the sheer force it took to hold onto the beast and keep it from wildly charging at anyone else. She had sunk down to her knees, arms still out, as her eyebrows knit together in concentration. She looked up to see Arsenal getting his ammo together while Robin was walking toward her. Beast Boy was right by the monstrous dog when her hold broke and Raven was thrown back into the wall as her soul-self forcefully rebounded with one final scream.

Darkness. Raven didn't know how long she was out but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes because when she came to Robin was beside her, griping her shoulders. A loud crash made them both turn around as Raven saw Beast Boy had turned into the Beast that hadn't appeared in years. Everything was going too fast with the concussion looming over her head as the two beasts moved in a blur. Arsenal was still trying to get shots in as Robin got up on his feet and ran towards him. Beast Boy was abruptly pinned to the ground as the mutt triumphantly sneered its sharp canines down at him. Halfway between the beast and Raven, Robin took out his grappling hook and shot it at the steel bar that was now exposed, as the once intact ceiling lay scattered on the floor. He was lifted off the floor before reaching the litter of debris as the line began to retract and swung forward hitting the distracted mutt in the face before landing off to the side. This was enough for Beast Boy to regain his footing once again as he stood up, pushing the mutt off. Raven made her way over slowly, still a little strained from earlier. Before she reached them Beast Boy had managed to corner the mutt before landing a blow that expelled it through the window. Seeing the huffing scratched up boys in front of her, Raven went after it but found nothing on the ground. Confused and too drained to form a portal, she slowly flew back up through the window relishing in that victorious rush from winning a fight she had long forgotten about.

She almost lost her footing back into the building though as she realized that Beast Boy was still on the floor, now morphed back into his human form and barely hanging onto consciousness. Arsenal and Robin were standing over him, looks of despair still palpable through their masks. In the harsh light of the now broken ceiling lamp, with the fur and beastly muscles gone, it seems that Beast Boy had really taken a beating from the mutt that the three didn't realize before. Raven felt a chill climb her body, making everything cold around her as she finally reached them. Her heart dropped to her stomach and she could barely find words as she saw three deep slashes that started from Beast Boys chest and went just past his waist. Arsenal turned to Raven.

"Think the furball dug it's damn claws into him before Beast Boy sent it through the window"

"Cassie said Cyborg's already on his way," Robin added "But it looks like the cut went through his thoracic artery"

Raven wasn't really listening anymore as she bent down and sat on her knees beside Beast Boy's chest. She believed Cyborg, their resident doctor, or any doctor for that matter wouldn't make it in time. She knew she couldn't truly heal him and she knew that mutt already drained a lot from her. Despite all of that, she placed both her hands on either side of his chest and tried to absorb his pain. It hit her so hard there were tears in her eyes and she felt like she couldn't breath as an animalistic cry of pain escaped her mouth in a whimper of protest. She could barely hear Robin and Arsenal's telling her to stop as the pain rang loudly in her ears but it only made her more determined to take this agony away from Beast Boy. Just until it's enough for his body to keep supplying blood to the pericardium she kept repeating over and over in her head because she thought that would be enough for Vic to save him. But she wasn't sure when that would be since all she could feel was the pain that never seemed to end. She kept going until she saw black spots and felt herself lean back without a choice as metal hands caught her fall.

Raven kept fighting to regain consciousness and losing. A battle that was driven by the fear of not only her life but that of her former teammate along with one of the current Teen Titans. The next time she was aware of her senses Raven realized she was lying down as she heard muffled sounds come from beside her. A woman and a man saying something unintelligible followed by a whisper of tearing fabric before a groan from another urged Raven to open her eyes but she slipped back further into the quiet darkness that called to her.

* * *

Her brain was hazy as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. She could no longer remember what she was doing or how she ended up in the endless void before her. Slowly the fog that filled her mind started to clear and she could see her mother standing with her back to her. She turned as a hand reached out and Raven realized that it was Azar from Azarath. Her mother was crying now, but she seemed so beautiful and young as if Raven was looking back in time. She looked up at the sky to find three moons, brown, grey and bright pink in the starlit night. The old fading stars cast a soft white light beside the bright yellows burning closer but those that gleamed red here and there shone brightest of all. Suddenly a soft line of smoke divided the endlessly breathtaking beauty of the night sky. When Raven looked down again past the burning fire, the fog that once entrapped her dark mind gave way to the white steps leading to the temple of Azarath. Around her figures moved with no sound wearing robes that diminished none from one another. The buildings that encompassed them in this peaceful planet stood tall and proud like that of the ancient Romans holding secrets of those that built them up centuries before. They promised stability and a home to all that only longed for tranquillity. The cloaked inhabitants of Azarath wore passive expressions as they walked around her mother who was still crying. Azar waited patiently for Raven who looked hesitant and confused.

"Come, child, I know she loves you, and you her, but if Azarath is to remain how it is, you must learn our ways free of any true emotion. You will remain with me and Arella will remain at the temple, I will teach you our ways of prayer and meditation until one day the pain will subdue"

Raven lifted her hand ready to go with Azar, craving the serene lives of those before her, driven by the promise of subdued pain that seemed to make her physically week. However as she looked back at Arella, she knew she would never leave. Despite her ability to manage the pain that seemed to rip away at her chest, she knew she could never let her mother go through that when she had the ability to stop it. She turned and tentatively put her hand over her mother's shoulder while she heard Azar's footsteps retreat.

"Daughter," Arella whispered eyes twinkling with delight as one final tear rolled down her cheek, "How I have longed to see you!"

Raven melted into her embrace welcoming the feeling of home she never realized she lost. At the back of her mind, she felt absolute despair that this wasn't real, some certainty that she could never hold her mother like this in this lifetime but she pushed that thought away as Arella lead her up the sparkling white steps. However, her happiness didn't last as years seemed to pass within seconds and as time went on Arella drew away. Raven would catch glimpses of her mother confiding in the monks about things she would never say to Raven because she knew it would break her.

"Sometimes she is but a reminder of what her father did to me, what I can never forgive and long to forget"

"I do not know how to love her like I want to while knowing what I know"

"If she is but a mirror of my mistakes, how will I find peace?"

Raven heard the harsh truths that stabbed like a dagger in her heart each time, but she stayed since all she wanted was to love and be loved. She stayed until she figured out how to give her mother what she really wanted. Knowing the burden she brought, thinking she could never truly be loved without hurting those she did, she opened a portal to earth. She left to her mother's birthplace despite Arella's claims that it was never kind to her and knowing that she could never return.

Out under the harsh sun blaring down at the hardened streets before her, Raven continued walking through the broken place with clamoured emotions from broken souls. Eventually, she happened upon the Titans fighting. She was taken aback by the rage and pain they all wore callously and overwhelmed by their choice to fight while she grew up taught to be passive. When Kid Flash fell onto the ruble fighting against unconsciousness, Raven approached him without a second thought. A look of confusion passed between his eyes before she placed both hands on his chest and drew the pain into her, feeling the most she had in years, welcoming the physical pain that brought her relief from what Arella caused her. When all was done the Titans eventually welcomed her into their team and she felt like she could maybe find a home once again. The following days seemed to pass in a whirlwind blur because Raven wasn't sure how many years had past when she was suddenly walking to her room alongside Wally West. The two Titans stopped in their tracks as a portal opened before them and out stepped Azar.

"Come, child," she called just as she did many years before and stuck out her hand once again.

"I-I can't. I have found a home here that I could never have in Azarath. Arella can finally find peace now"

"Oh child, Azarath is no longer as it was and your mother is gone with it. When you travelled through dimensions to reach Earth, you invited Trigon into our home but we have rebuilt it since. Come now, I will release you of these emotions that break away your soul"

Raven turned around to say goodbye to Wally as he remained in a trance staring at the serene being before them but as his eyes found hers, the desperate hope in his eyes made her falter.

"Raven, you've done so much good since you got here, don't leave all this behind! This isn't how I wanted to say it but I love you, and I'm hoping you love me enough to stay."

Azar knew her decision before Raven knew herself and she lowered her hand back down.

"My child, you always long for what doesn't want you. I hope one day you will understand, you cannot have love without causing loss"

As the portal closed, Raven turned into Wally and he kissed her. Some part of her screamed that he wasn't supposed to be with her, that none of this made any sense, and all of it felt wrong. She only pushed that thought to the back of her mind and continued on. Suddenly she was in a bleak white room with Wally holding her hand tight as she realized the scream echoing off the walls were hers. She looked just in time to see a woman holding up a child that Raven instantly knew was hers. She loved this child like she never knew possible but it suddenly began to grow in front of her eyes into the demon that once served her father. Goronn. The orange ogre-ish monster towered over Raven as the Titans joined her. It grew talon looking nails, had a long spiked tail that kept whipping around violently and its ears got pointer as the sharp teeth grew in. One by one the Titans were tossed to the ground as star bolts simply bounced off and lassos broke in half. Dick fell first, pushed into a boulder as his spine cracked so hard everyone heard it. From his hand fell the engagement ring he never gave Koriand'r who was now rushing to his side. In an instant Goronn turned and sliced through Kori's chest, three big gashes bled as she fell beside her love. With their leader dead the Titans couldn't fight like before and Raven watched them fall one by one. She stood there stunned, unable to save them until she spotted the woman from the Pride celebration behind the monster. She was crouched beside Miguel like before but he now lay unconscious wearing tattered and bloodied clothes. Beside him lay the rest of his teammates all their bodies contorted and bleeding. The woman looked up at her and smiled.

"Fair is foul and foul is fair," she cackled.

Suddenly Raven was falling into darkness unable to scream for what seemed like centuries until all that was left was eternal nothingness.

* * *

There were birds chirping. That was the first thing Raven heard before she woke up. It felt like a brick that was sitting on her chest was finally removed but it still left an indent with every breath. She apprehensively opened her eyes and realized that she was in the infirmary at the old Titans tower. Raven started to go through what had happened, remembering the fight with the mutt and realizing that Cyborg had arrived right before she passed out. Her nightmare began to fade away as she tried to find a clock and figure out how long she's been out. Suddenly the door creaked open and a tall girl stepped in, her black hair swishing around her shoulders as she turned to see Raven. Her eye's lit up and she reached Raven's bedside in a few quick strides as she pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"Can't leave you kids alone for a few seconds can I?"

"Donna," Raven said in a hoarse voice "When did you get here?"

Donna handed her a glass of water, which Raven took graciously and downed in seconds. It washed out the bitter taste in her mouth left behind by the nightmare and cooled her burning worries.

"I'm surprised _you're_ back here"

"I'm-Is Garfield ok?"

"Yes, thanks to your suicidal bravery once again. Remember when we all admired you for that when Trigon appeared?"

Raven scoffed anticipating what would come next.

"Well, it's getting old. Try switching it up hon, maybe even stop the near-death experiences altogether."

"It's good to see you"

"You too Raven," Donna sighed smiling in defeat.

However, before the two could finally catch up, the door burst open and Garfield came in with a bandaged chest and eyes filled with fury.


	9. Full House

Full House

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT," Garfield bellowed before turning to Donna still angry "HI DONNA"

"Ok, I'm going to go grab Vic since you're up," she said walking away before Raven could stop her.

Unable to stall any longer she finally brought her eyes up to Garfield's who was now standing by her bedside looming over her as the last of Donna's footsteps clicked away. Raven's eyes held his angry gaze like a mirror. She didn't know what he wanted to fight about and she quite frankly didn't care. Of course, she was grateful to see that he was alive and well enough to dramatically burst into the infirmary but her chest was still sore from the ordeal and she didn't want to waste her breath on something insignificant.

"Garfield can we-"

"No listen, you don't get to do that ok," When he was only met with Raven's vacant blinking he continued, "You can't decide that you're gonna die a heroes death and then just leave me to deal with it. You want me to drown in guilt, keep making up scenarios where it was me instead, find out all the ways I could have stopped it? I don't deserve that!"

"Sorry-"

"If you die, we have to pick up the pieces and figure out how to move on, not you! I'm so tired of this, you pretend like Wally dying barely affected you when I know it did and then you go and try to do the same thing. You can't go on years without speaking one word to me and then try to die saving me. That's bullshit! We're adults, its been years, stop hiding your emotions and then doing dumb shit. You're not doing anyone any favours!"

"Guess what time it is sleeping beauty," Vic said coming in through the door.

He was looking down at the phone in his hand with Raven's files open, either not caring about Garfield's meltdown or being as oblivious as always. Garfield turned to Vic before looking back at Raven still wearing a scowl on his face but his eyes had now softened, grown tried and worrisome. He walked past Victor without a word and shut the door behind him as Raven was left searching for words. Victor went through a routine check-up before explaining what happened and why it's a good thing her body knocked her out before she killed herself. Raven only understood bits and pieces as she replayed what Garfield had said over and over again. They have bickered and failed to see eye to eye even in the midst of a battle before but she had never sat there and listened to Garfield as he yelled. What made it worse was the truth in his words. She didn't realize the selfishness that existed in such as selfless act as giving her life for another. She could have given up when Roy and Tim so clearly did, she could have tried to ease his pain as they waited for Vic. Instead she had forced Garfield to get better without giving him a choice, without sparing a thought towards what would happen if she died saving him.

If Azar could see her now she thought. When Raven first came to Earth she tried to remain passive like she was taught; only healing her teammates, occasionally shielding someone and bringing others with her through dimensions without allowing them to know it took a toll on her. Eventually, she started to fight back because Dick claimed that peace was a practice that you must fight to keep. She was lost for a while, rejecting her teachings from Azarath after learning that their choice to banish all negative emotions in search for peace ultimately created Trigon. Then, through her friends and her time as a Titan, she learned that there is no good without bad and began to embrace both. She carried on her teachings from Azarath in a new light, a way that made sense on Earth in hopes of being the best she could. Now, sitting in the infirmary she realized how much she needed the Titans to challenge her because without them she had stopped growing, learning and being purposeful after everything that had happened. Suddenly she felt as though her world was turned upside down once more because she knew now that she was hiding all these years hidden away from her former teammates. However, she still couldn't figure out what she was hiding from.

"Raven?" Victor asked now looking concerned.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if ya wanted to stay tonight just in case"

"I'm not sure, it seems your tower has picked up quite a few strays from yesterday"

"Don't know if Donna's planning on spending the night but she's taking over the briefing room right now, ya up for it?"

"Always"

Donna was already well into her speech when Raven and Victor entered and made their way to stand at the back. Everyone was hanging onto her words while Cassie remained fidgeting with her fingers before sending Raven a small smile. Garfield, looking light-hearted as ever had made some comment about family drama that only Roy laughed at before Donna impatiently moved onto brief the Teen Titans about a recent incident in Opal City. It was out of the way of the Titans' usual area but came under Donna's radar since the criminal admitted at St Jhon's General Hospital was a concern of the Justice League. As soon as she claimed the static signature from the crime scene could be traced back to the Electrocutioner, the rest of the briefing became livelier as the Titans bounced ideas off one another. The heavy silence that once hung in the air when Raven first entered was gone and after Donna called Cassie over to leave, the rest of the Teen Titans followed suit. Raven headed to the door herself as the room almost fell silent once more but turned around when she heard Victor speak.

"You left with Kori to Gotham last night so I'll come too since it's not like y'all were actually bumpin nasties in that car"

Kori immediately met Raven's eyes with horror before getting up and abruptly pushing past her to open the door. Roy, looking quite smug, only made a dismissive grunt before getting up to leave as well. Then, he stopped and turned to Vic.

"Nice going cockblock"

"What-wait you actually-man Donna _just_ got here!"

As the two left Raven remained in the room for a few minutes longer. Amidst the last few days, she had forgotten Kori's questionable disappearance when she had first met the new Titans and felt a little ashamed for not figuring it out herself. She wasn't at all surprised that Vic was once again the last one to pick up on it and now clearly against all of it. She noticed Kori's happiness since her return but Raven never stopped to think it was because of a boy with everything else that was happening. The hallway was empty as she stepped out except for Donna and Cassie who were having a light conversation as they looked out the floor to ceiling windows. The sun was out again and the sky occupied a small green bird for a few seconds before it dipped to the ground. Garfield had turned back into himself and spiked a volleyball at Jaime who was on the other side of a tattered volleyball net. The two girls turned to see Raven as the door shut and Cassie made her way over to her as Donna turned back to the window.

"Hey, I'm glad you're ok," Cassie said tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "sorry about being gone-"

"Thank you, Cassie, but you being there wouldn't have changed anything, and Connor should be grateful that you stayed with him"

"But Connor really wasn't hurt that bad. I mean I was stressing over him while you guys were actually trying to take what hurt him down! I'm usually not like this really but seeing him like that and thinking that I caused it threw me off and then you two got hurt. What if I could have stopped Beast Boy from getting hurt and he wouldn't have been so angry at you for saving him-"

"You heard that?"

"Vic said Donna was here so I went looking and yeah"

"I think Garfield needed to say all that just as much as I needed to hear it, so trust me when I say it was long overdue"

"It's just that I still should have come back sooner and I don't want you to think that's how I am when we're on a mission, ask anyone! I mean I should be at the front lines when it's my messed up family that caused all of this-"

"Cassie, I haven't seen Garfield transform into the Beast in so long that even if you had shown up earlier, he probably would have had to be the one to stop it regardless."

"Well I talked to Donna about everything and she thinks it's Lycus's hell hound that attacked him and-I don't know she just thought you would be more help with the whole, uhm, dysfunctional family situation."

"Oh, sure but I have a lecture to get to first"

"I still have it under control just like I said last time but wait-you're still in school?"

Cassie's absolute surprise put a small smile on Raven's face. After the last few days, it became an afterthought for Raven as well but it was also the calmest thing she could think of after the Tower's sudden increase in inhabitants.

"Yes but let's meet at Gaufres around 6"

"Is that another one of your old secret pizza places?"

"Is that all Vic's shown you? Pizza?"

"Basically"

Raven shook her head and walked away promising Cassie that Gaufres is better than any pizza place Vic's taken them to. It was quite refreshing to talk to Cassie who had so many of Donna's mannerisms but also saw the world a little differently. Donna had been Raven's big sister for so long that she might have expected the same from Cassie when it wasn't like that at all. Although with all the blame Cassie already put on herself it was clear that this Wonder Girl was very close to Robin too. Eager to come back and show Cassie the waffle spot that she was sure would become a new favourite, Raven headed to her car finally starting to see why Vic liked his job so much.

Raven was sitting in the common room when it's doors opened up to let in the swarm of energetic Titans. The mission must have gone well she thought, as Robin didn't even bat an eye when kid flash whizzed past him to the kitchen. Even Connor and M'gann were having the most civil conversation Raven had seen since she came to the tower. She walked over to join them, a little disappointed that Kori was not among them. Nevertheless, Raven was determined to wait until her friend came to finally have that conversation that the two were avoiding. Albeit Raven's reason to avoid it was the absence of any drama, Kori was the one who taught her that sometimes the best thing you can do for your friend is deny the space they ask for. So, it was only fitting that Raven returned the favour. Miguel was excitedly talking about their victory with Cassie as she reached the group.

"Electrocutioner seriously? Where did all the creative supervillains go?" Cassie exclaimed.

"Yeah, but after tonight he's just straight-up electrocuted!"

Behind them, Donna and Roy shared a small look before abruptly parting ways. Long before Raven had joined, it was just Donna, Wally, Garth, Dick and Roy. They were the youngest and brightest without giving anyone a single doubt that they would save the day but sometimes they also fell the hardest. Raven learned later on that before her, they used to play games to distract themselves from the pain as they waited for an ambulance. There was a small game that seemed entertaining at the time where all the Titans would just make up the most outrageous superhero names as a distraction for whoever got hurt. Raven thought back to when the two got together and how no one doubted their love for one another, which made it all the more harder when they split up. The timing never seemed right for either and even now, Donna thinks she's doing the best thing for Roy by being apart. Maybe it was the inevitability of being a Titan or maybe it was just how their love works, but she could bet her whole life on the fact that all the two had to do was have a genuine talk and they would be ok once again just like always. Raven suddenly realized that Garfield got to say his peace this morning but she never got to say hers. She also felt as though she at least deserved more of an explanation since he played just as big a part in creating the rift in their relationship as she did.

Garfield had been talking to Vic and about to step into the elevator when she stopped him. Victor wordlessly pressed the button to shut the doors while Bart looked annoyed that Garfield wouldn't be continuing their conversation about some game. He looked a lot better than this morning and though the tiredness remained in his eyes that cheery sparkle had once again returned. When they fell on Raven however, all she could see was the worry they held. He spoke before she could gather her thoughts enough to figure out what she even wanted to ask him.

"What I said this morning wasn't wrong y'know, maybe a teeny tiny bit harsh, but I'm still not sorry"

This set Raven back a couple more seconds before she spoke. She was suddenly angry that he didn't apologize despite knowing all along why he said what he did. Back when they were a team, Garfield was accustomed to apologizing to anyone and everyone since his jokes hand a tendency to go south more times than not. Dick spoke to her once about how fitting it was for Garfield to become an actor since he always craved approval but it seemed that he had finally outgrown this. Yet he still managed to make it sound childish all the same. Raven was quite upset realizing that she missed all of it to the point where the person standing in front of her might be someone she no longer knew.

"Ok but I want an explanation"

"For this morning?" Garfield said suddenly getting worked up "I think it's p-"

"You never called"

They were both silent before Garfield spoke.

"7 pm tomorrow meet me back at the tower"

"What?"

"You're going back home right? And your classes or whatever should be done by then so you'll get your explanation then"

"Fine" Raven said exasperated that Garfield was dragging this out further than needed.

"And no nerdy college clothes. Didn't really expect you to go from Fall-Out-Boy-emo to a-bachelors-degree-isn't-enough-nerd"

"Whatever pea brain"

She saw him finally let out a grin big enough to flash a small canine as the elevator doors closed. Maybe he hadn't changed too much from how she remembered him.

Raven had taken residence on the roof for a while before she saw a red speck in the sky. The Tower became quite chaotic with someone with new issues on every floor and she had come out to take a breath of fresh air while distancing herself from the various hectic emotions all fighting for her attention. Certain that Kori would see her, she perched herself over the ledge and waited just as a mattress flew through what she hoped to be an open window. Bart was riding it to the bitter end right before M'gann snatched him up by the collar. The sudden appearance of a growing brick wall startled M'gann as she let go of Bart long enough for the wall to push him far enough so that he would fall onto the mattress.

"Just watch what happens to yours!" Miguel yelled from the window as M'gann returned inside.

"Amigo!"

That was all Raven could hear from Bart before he disappeared in a blur. With that, Kori had landed on the roof and joined Raven on the ledge, as she let her legs dangle in the air. The two stayed like that for quite some time looking out into the night sky before Kori broke the silence.

"Will you be home sleeping tonight?"

"That's the plan"

"Were you doing the waiting for me to come too?"

"Do you want to?"

Kori finally whipped her head around to Raven looking defensive. Raven was a little shocked by the well-deserved irritancy in her eye because despite seeking out a truthful conversation with her friend, she had begun it quite skeptically. With Victor's words still running through her mind, she was a little disappointed that her friend would further test the friendships of a group that was barely hanging together for stolen moments with a man Raven knew she wasn't serious about.

"Are you questioning my 'want to' because I am doing something you do not like? You told me not to wait for Dick, Raven do not forget, and maybe this is not what you expect but that does not mean I am wrong!"

"No, Kori, I just wanted to make sure"

"Well I am coming to my home"

"Good," Raven said happier than usual as she took note of Kori already calling it her home.

"And I have done the talking to Dick who no longer cares about Jason so you should no longer too!"

"Jason? What happened to Roy?"

"Nothing has happened friend, he did not join us tonight"

"So you're with Jason not-"

"I have finished the briefing with Jason, before the talking with Dick in Gotham and Roy went with the Teen Titans, no?"

"Yes?"

Raven absent-mindedly brought her hand to her head as she felt an oncoming headache. Kori's frustration muddled with her confusion did not help the situation. At this point, she didn't even know what questions to ask to make sense of any of it. Eventually, Kori decided to go back to the beginning, before she had even visited Raven. Apparently, after she arrived at the Tower, Kori went flying around for a little bit and clear her mind. Letting her subconscious take over, she had ended up in Gotham in time to mistake Jason stealing a car from the cave for Dick just driving out for an early patrol. It wasn't long before the assassins Jason was leading out of Gotham caught up to him and he was forced to come out and fight with odds that concerned Kori. She ended up joining him, despite her disappointment in realizing she had followed the wrong former Robin and enjoyed herself fighting them off a lot more freely than when she was under Dick's leadership. Jason's more brutal approach to handling villains aside, Raven still wasn't satisfied with Kori's new friend.

"Does he not remind you of Dick too often?"

"He does not at all! He even does the dressing a little better but maybe he does do the same flirting. But Jason is different in mind, with his own demons, yes, but also his ideas are so very brilliant. When we fight I am allowed to be as angry as I am and when he is too, we are the team of greatness."

All this was supposed to be forgotten following her night out with Raven, but he had called Kori when Raven and Victor went on a walk outside the tower. Kori had suggested having a fun beach day to M'gann before she left to join Jason in Qurac. The people she helped Jason fight off turned out to be connected to the mercenaries holding Roy and she was the one who helped create a path for the two to make a quick escape.

"I think I have missed this, doing the fighting with others, a team."

"So you're happy? More than you would be with these Titans?"

"Yes, and you were correct. I am doing the things for myself and I told Dick this and he said he will be happy for me and I think we will talk again soon, maybe even like before."

Raven finally felt a little lighter, despite the various problems Kori's new team could bring, as she chose not to indulge herself in what comes next. Her best friend was finding happiness again and she thought it was time to do the same herself.

Suddenly, bellow them, Jamie had jumped out into the sky and started to yell at Tim who was out on the grass.

"It's a full house bro, new rules"

Tim who was too far down had said something unintelligible before Jamie replied once more.

"Of course you would know that. Careful Tim, don't think Dick would be too happy to know about you're little crush on Starfire"

Raven turned to Kori who was smiling down at the boys.

"Not that I have anything to say about it but-what Vic said earlier-"

"Do not worry I have done nothing more with Roy than I have with Jason"

She decided not to press any further as something hit Jamie and Kori flew down to embarrass the boy wonder some more. Raven smiled as she made her way down with her and headed to the car. It was so silly to be bothered by the thought of Kori and Roy when she knew her friend would have loved the attention regardless without meaning any harm. She passed by a beet red Tim as she pulled out her keys to open the car.


	10. The Cloakroom

The Cloakroom

Raven almost cracked the cup of tea between her hands as she heard the cushioned crunch of crushed Styrofoam behind her.

"Nice going dude!"

Raven was the one who suggested that Kori move into her library after one too many sleepless nights. She went along with her knowing that no matter how insistent the Tameranean was about not staying long, a trip to the furniture store wouldn't end with just a bed and mattress. She didn't, however, anticipate that the two overenthusiastic employees would convince Kori to let them help her move in.

Finally after the two boys from the store, who seemed increasingly incompetent by the minute, long overstayed their welcome, Kori agreed to take their numbers and ushered them out the door. The house was finally quiet once more and Raven was left with her incessant thoughts on what Garfield had planned for the night. She walked past Kori lifting her bed without a sweat as she continued rearranging her new room and humming a song that occupied most radio stations. Raven stood in front of her closet contemplating what to wear for longer than she ever had before. The immense loss of control over how the night would span out really got under her skin as she finally settled on a midi black dress with a leather jacket on top. Unfortunately, before Raven could forget all her anxieties and focus on driving there, Kori stepped out to see her friend dressed up more than usual.

"Oh is it a date? Who is the man? Do I know of him?"

"No, boy describes him better and yes"

Raven kept walking on before Kori's words could sink in and cause yet another wardrobe change. When she reached the tower Garfield was already waiting by the door a little more dressed up than usual himself. His lingering gaze on Ravens outfit also helped ease her worries as he ushered her to follow him. Miguel gave Raven an unwelcomed wink as the two went into the elevator and she saw Tim gaping from afar as the doors finally closed. It wasn't a _date_. Finally, they reached the roof where Raven was sure this embarrassing debacle would end but was instead greeted with a helicopter.

"Seriously?" she gaped.

"I know right? Get ready for the best night of your life, everything's just better with me don't forget th-"

"That you can fly and so can I?"

"No, if I tell you where you'd just pass through a few dimensions and that defeats the whole purpose!"

"Why must everything be so extra-"

"Cause you need to stop sucking the life out of everything and put these on," Garfield said handing her a headset.

She didn't quite listen to Garfield's explanation of how he convinced Vic to let him borrow it for the night since she was still hung up on the fact that he would be the one to fly it. It was still bright out when they left but by the time Garfield had miraculously landed and the two were driven into town, darkness was already spreading maliciously across the fading indigo sky.

Garfield got out in front of a tailoring company and Raven followed suit. There were a few people walking up and down the streets and although scarce, they all had enough energy to consume too much of Raven's patience. After all the anxious thoughts and the now ridiculous looking outfit she was wearing, Raven was left with Garfield in the middle of Montreal. She sighed inwardly as she accepted the fact that she asked Garfield an unnecessary question and then proceeded to let him take her to another country with no answer. However, despite the abrasive foreign feeling the small streets of Montreal gave, Raven thought the architecture that spanned the streets before her was something to be marveled at. Almost an entire block was one connected building made up of smaller ones that wore unique personalities proudly with timeless streetlights casting a dreamy look upon them. She looked back at Garfield to see his eyes quickly flit away from her as he climbed a few stairs that led to grand black doors simply wearing the unit number in gold block letters. The bay window beside showed a well-lit shop parading magnificent looking suits and despite the welcoming display, the shop was clearly closed with not an employee in sight. Garfield opened the door and Raven reluctantly followed as she read the sign hoping they wouldn't get prosecuted for trespassing. _MAISON CLOAKROOM: Sur Mesure et Prêt-à-Porter fait main._ Garfield waited in front of a big square mirror that hung over an unused shelf as Raven tentatively peered into the well-lit store behind her. The whole store though modest in size had a lavishly eccentric atmosphere that made Raven question its absent security system. Two big rugs occupied most of the light wooden floors, bright red with intricate patterns that stood out next to the dark black walls. The stark white ceiling had many spotlights that reached every suit rack and mannequin throughout the room. The store also had many mirrors but Garfield remained before the one with the vacant shelf. Garfield turned back to Raven upon noticing her watch him in the mirror just as the entire wall in front of them opened. Raven was rightfully surprised as her eyes drifted around the dim-lit hallway with obscure looking paintings that curved around endlessly. Having been there before Garfield seemed unfazed and kept his eyes on Raven to relish in her emotions that although subdued appeared plainly on her face.

They had finally reached the speakeasy that Garfield had tried to conceal and Raven was indisputably surprised in the best way possible. Much like the store they had passed, the room was quaint and despite the dark demeanor that all bars conjured, the ceiling held an array of singular light bulbs hanging a few inches below. It wasn't decorated to be over the top or boastful in its evidently upscale existence but was most humble to its unattainable quality. Raven assumed that this exclusivity was something Garfield picked up from living in L.A too long but couldn't bring herself to hate its undeniable beauty. The bar held the most mesmerizing bottles in front of a never-ending mirror with a marble table opposite to it. She noticed that the seating was limited and felt immediately claustrophobic as she thought of how crowded bars tend to get back home, but Garfield guided her to the corner. She took comfort in it being a weekday and that the sparse, scattered occupants of the room were too consumed in keeping their conversation private to tire Raven. Garfield and Raven looked at each other after settling down, not daring to be the first to break the silence. She thought she already spoke her piece, told him what she wanted to know and, she even went along with his whole plan so it was only fair that he spoke first. Besides, she didn't want to really change anything. When they spoke on the way to the bar it was like remembering all the lyrics to a song from a decade ago. Without fail she was completely comfortable which is why she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Before the staring contest could go any further a man approached the table asking for their drink preferences without any menu.

"We don't drink a lot but really anything's fine, I think she likes whiskey best but I'm more gin" Garfield said with a quick glance at Raven looking for an objection, "basically we were best friends that haven't seen each other in years and we just want to clear the air and stuff plus we both suck at these talks"

The bartender turned and discreetly questioned Garfield while he replied in a more open manner.

"Yeah, I think, that's the plan"

After asking Raven questions about her preferences he excused himself and disappeared. Irritated that Garfield's need to be too friendly with everyone hadn't changed, she broke the silence.

"Was that necessary?"

"That's the whole point Rae that's why there's no menu. Anyways it's good to try new things lighten up."

"It is not L.A, no need to be so excessive"

"Guess you wouldn't know would you?"

They were interrupted by the bartender who had arrived with some whiskey cocktail that neither had tried before. The two remained in silence while they both tried the drink and Raven was surprised at how good it truly was. Avoiding the conversation she had wanted to get through a day ago, Raven occasionally contributed to Garfield's spiel about how the Titans had changed so much. It wasn't until he reached the subject of Kori that Raven decided to face what she had been hiding from rather than expose her friend.

"And did you figure out what's up with Kori 'cause we all know she wasn't on set that day right? Did you notice her English kinda makes more sense when she's lying like-"

"Garfield" Raven looked up at him not bothering to cover the annoyance in her voice when she knew all that her eyes could show was defeat.

"Ok fine Debbie Downer I didn't call but you didn't call either."

"_Garfield_"

"That's as valid an answer as yours"

"I haven't given my answer since you have yet to answer mine"

"Fine I didn't call 'cause you stopped me from saying I-the thing-and then you left"

"And that warrants our friendship to end just like that?"

"Friendship that's what you call it? Everyone kiss you like that that night?"

"No"

"Exactly"

"So what?"

"So? So I've never had to get over someone that hadn't died before"

Both were almost at the bottom of their glasses now as Garfield's last words came out as a harsh whisper followed by a laugh that never reached his eyes. She didn't need to be an empath to know how deep the scar Terra left still was. Raven timidly placed her hand on top of his after he let go of the empty glass. She was unable to put into words how he could stop covering things up with a joke when he was with her. So instead she opted to apologize for her ignorance, pushing back what she now recognized as anger for how quick he was to throw their friendship away.

"I'm sorry. I was so focused on what I would do if I heard you say that, especially after we found out that Vic caused the power outage th-"

"What else would have cause-that wasn't just a goodbye kiss?"

"What?"

"I thought you didn't let me say it cause it didn't mean shit to you but of course it wouldn't be that easy with you would it? You just shut down after like nothing happened, at least for you, and I was so pissed off that you would just kiss me like that knowing what I felt-"

"You hide your emotions well enough when you want. I would have had to actively try to find them and why would I when you could have so easily said so yourself?"

"Easily? That's not how I'd describe talking to you about this Rae. Plus you could've said something too"

"No"

"Do I smell a hypocrite" Garfield joked as Raven gingerly brought her hand to her temple.

"Don't forget that even though you were in love once I wasn't so lucky as to even understand what it is or at what capacity I can even now allow myself-"

"So you just decided for both of us then. You didn't even bother to let me know, I thought I was just like Wally-"

"You don't think I thought of that too? It wasn't a spur of the moment thing for me Garfield, it never is. I didn't want you to say something I forced."

"You're joking right?"

The waiter came in and wordlessly took away the empty glasses and replaced them with a cocktail Raven assumed contained gin. A bigger group had come in and sat in the big booth behind her as the same waiter spoke more animatedly with them. She took comfort in the laid back atmosphere she assumed to be so genuine due to its inability to be a chain business. She couldn't count the number of times she went into a store to have falsely enthusiastic employees vying for her attention. Here, the waiters and bartender received and reciprocated energy uniquely to every group without indifference. Despite the comfort of The Cloak Room, however, she could wear nothing but a grave look since having said the most she ever did about her feelings concerning her green-skinned friend. Garfield chuckled as he sipped his own drink.

"Ok, so I guess not. Rae your like the chicken that crossed the road-"

"A joke?"

"No, no but a good one! Right - another time - so we basically we all want to know why the chicken crossed the road right but we know you, the chicken, won't answer us so we look at the chicken and talk about the chicken but we don't talk to _it _we talk to someone else"

"Was that supposed to make sense?"

"The ch- forget it ok so I'm saying everyone noticed how hot you are at one point but no one really did anything about it cause it wouldn't make sense for you to go for any of us so we just looked and moved on."

"So you sexualized a chicken to call me hot?"

"No, I'm saying I liked you before Terra too but almost a year before you left, you finally got a sense of humor and started laughing at my jokes when you thought no one noticed and remember you even let me hang out in your room when Cy was fixing mine? You let me in more than usual so I went for it and I know this is nothing like Wally."

"Can you be sure when I-"

"I can 'cause all you did to Wally was enhance feelings that were there in the first place that's why it took so long for him to get over you. And I'm still not because what I feel is all me and I don't want it to go away anyway-"

"Ok"

"Ok? Now it's your turn" Garfield said as he watched Raven take a big gulp of her cocktail.

"Fine. I haven't stopped- I still- Does it matter when nothing can come of this?"

Garfield's eyes held hers with the most certainty that she's ever seen.

"I'd take a lifetime worth of pointless moments figuring it out instead of the last few years anyway."

She looked away as she finished the last of her drink. It seemed to encourage the butterflies that were now fluttering around her stomach in a frenzy rather than suppress them.

"So I guess I'm never getting over you, and you are clearly so obsessed with me to the point where you just pulled a you-jump-I-jump-jack a few days ago so are you gonna ask me to go steady or?"

"Do you always take joy in ruining the moment?" Raven glared as the waiter came with what she hoped would be their final round of drinks.

"Ok, ok we'll go slow but only cause I spent way too much time planning this so I need you to ask me that question now"

"What?"

"The question the control freak in you's been fighting to ask the entire night"

"Why you took the helicopter to Montréal?"

"Close enough. See the obnoxious looking group that's sitting behind you? Listen."

Raven was so consumed in her own conversation with Garfield that whatever the others were feeling had so little effect on her and she barely took notice. Now looking back she finally acknowledged the wide-ranging emotions from the group behind as they were talking about something with great passion. Finally, the man sitting directly behind her called the attention of the group long enough for his point to be heard through great debate.

"No, listen; She was like the wind, an unyielding force stopping for nothing, answering to nobody. That's why I didn't notice she was leaving until she was gone entirely."

Raven turned her attention back to Garfield who was grinning triumphantly as he finally relaxed back into his seat with his right arm slung over it. She looked at him entirely convinced that there was no way he knew about what that man was reading. He simply nodded at her to continue listening.

"Then you have to add the end just as much; Sitting in that room, almost 4 years lost, I could blame no one but myself. It was I who acted like the main character's best friend, I held onto the self-doubt, I kept putting up new walls whenever anyone got through. Maybe I'll never feel like that again. Whenever someone asks when I was happiest, I always went back to that childhood, with the friends I thought were forever and the small moments that seemed bigger than life. And yet, I don't think I would go back into the blissful ignorance despite how much I want to forget what I have learned. Those small moments of hope that flit through my rushed days right now are sometimes the sweetest yet."

Someone new interjected another part of the book but Raven had turned her attention fully back to Garfield in utter surprise for the second time that night.

"How did you know?"

"You really think we wouldn't know you wrote that book? Grayson's not that shit a detective"

"So-"

"Yep I couldn't get myself to open that philosophy textbook you also wrote but I think Donna liked it. I really liked this one tho-"

"You read it?"

"'Course and yeah I guess it was really good but how could you end the story like that? She never got with her best friend!"

The waiter Garfield had called when she was listening to the group behind her interrupted them with the bill as Raven laughed at his distress about her fictional characters. On their way out Raven tried to linger long enough to catch a glimpse of the mismatched book club or whatever they were but Garfield soon took her hand with a tentative gaze and she distractedly followed him. Out on the streets, as they waited for the cab, she could no longer hold in the question that had been bothering her since their first drink. Even an entire country away, Dick's incessant paranoid tendencies stuck with her and she came to regret keeping in touch with him the most the past year.

"Garfield?"

Looking away from the street he flashed her a small grin and gave her hand a quick squeeze. All she wanted the entire morning was a way to hear his explanation and leave as soon as she could. Now that she found what might bring an abrupt end to the night, she didn't want it anymore.

"Earlier, you mentioned that Kori never visited you on set. If she wasn't the reason you came back, why did you?"


End file.
